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“What’s that?”
“Why were you so mean to me that first day? Because it really hurt.”
I thought back. I didn’t remember much of it. For the most part, it was just another day. Was this how he remembered all of the days he hurt me?
“I don’t know. I was probably just being insecure. Or, maybe I was just being a dick,” I admitted. “I was dealing with a lot back then.”
Evan held out his hands in front of him and slowly pointed his fingers towards himself mirroring my gesture. He didn’t do it as forcefully as I had, but I got his point.
“Can I ask you another question?”
“What?”
“Do you forgive me?”
I stared at him. Did I forgive Evan Carter, star of my nightmares and terrorizer of my youth?
“Evan, you hurt me. I’m still dealing with the scars.”
“If it makes you feel any better, so am I. I wake up screaming having dreamed about what I did to you back then.”
“You have nightmares about what you did to me?”
“All the time. It haunts me. I was kinda glad when you had your friend beat the shit out of me. I thought I would be able to consider us even. But, it didn’t change anything.”
“Which is why you came here?”
“Yeah.”
“And why I’ve been seeing you around campus.”
Evan looked away.
“And why I saw you around campus so much my freshman year?”
He looked at the ground.
“So, I wasn’t going insane. That really was you.”
“I just want you to forgive me.”
I looked at the guy I had thought about so much throughout my life. For the first time in a long time, I saw him as human.
“Evan Carter, I forgive you,” I said surprised to hear it come out of my mouth.
He got off his knees.
“Really?” He asked excitedly.
“Yea.”
With a smile on his face, he threw his arms open about to hug me.
“No!” I said coldly. “I forgive you. But we aren’t friends. And, you need to get help. You owe it to me and everyone else you’ve hurt.”
I paused catching myself.
“More than that, you owe it to yourself. You don’t have to feel like this and there could be a really great life waiting for you on the other side.”
