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“You mean because Titus, Cali, and I all play?”
“Yeah. And don’t Titus and Cali also hold conference records?”
“They do.”
“Then unless all of your mothers are ridiculously athletic, his seed couldn’t have fallen far from the tree.”
“I guess. But I get the feeling there’s something else. Something that we wouldn’t want to know.”
“Interesting.” I gave it a moment and then said, “Speaking of interesting things. Have you given any thought to the workout with the Cougars?”
“On the field today, I was thinking about it a lot.”
“And?” I asked, feeling a chill of anticipation rattle through me.
“It’s been two years,” he admitted.
“I told you, I can train you like I used to in the off-season.”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s just a workout. It’s not like you have your whole life resting on it like other people do. If, somehow, things don’t happen the way I think they will, you can return to your life here. You can get back to giving the lamest tours in the history of man.”
“You think my tour is lame?” Claude asked, feigning being offended.
“Hell, yes. Have you told me what that plant is called?” I asked, gesturing to a bush on the edge of the river. “No, you haven’t. Have you pointed out any snakes in the trees? Not a one. You started it off promising danger and excitement. Since?” I faked a yawn.
“You’re bored, huh?”
“A little,” I replied contentiously.
“Did I tell you that the snakes around here swim?”
“They what?” I asked, feeling my heart jump into my throat.
“They swim. In rivers like this. In fact, isn’t that one there?”
“Where?” I asked, whipping around.
“Oh no!” Claude said suddenly rocking the boat violently.
“Don’t you…”
“Oh no!” Claude repeated before grabbing both sides of the canoe and flipping us over.
The cold, snake-infested water soaked through my clothes, scalding my skin. I could feel the length of an imaginary anaconda wrap around me, trying to swallow me whole.
“Ahhh!” I screamed, forgetting how to swim.
When something touched the bottom of my foot, my head nearly exploded. It turned out to be the ground. The river wasn’t that deep. But it didn’t matter.
Swimming like my life depended on it, I shot to the edge of the river. Dragging myself ashore, I rolled until there was a distance between me and the site of my doom.
“Not funny!” I yelled at Claude.
He couldn’t hear me over his laughter.
“That’s it, you fuckin’ owe me. We’re doin’ a workout. You’re gonna be at today’s football field at 9 AM tomorrow morning, and you are gonna run until you can’t walk. I mean it.”
