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“Okay, okay. Whatever. I’ll be there,” he said, composing himself.
“Oh, you said that like you still had a choice,” I said, legitimately annoyed.
“Did I tell you how often snakes sleep in the dirt next to the shore?”
“Ahhh!” I screamed, racing to my feet, brushing off whatever was on me.
Claude, again, rolled in laughter.
“Not… funny!”
Once Claude regained his composure, he was eventually able to get me back in the boat. I couldn’t stay mad at him. After all, seeing him laugh so completely had warmed my heart.
It had been a long time since I had seen him laugh like that. It had to have been before I snapped and things went south. Remembering that, I decided that I would pretend our kiss didn’t happen.
As far as I knew, Claude was, and had always been, straight. He’d never expressed an interest in me or any guy. I’m sure because I’ve watched him. His eyes didn’t light up when he saw me, like I knew mine did when I saw him. No one ignited his fire.
Knowing that, to go down that path with him would be dangerous. I had lost my mind the last time I had allowed myself to feel something for him. So whatever experimentation he was looking to do with me was not welcome. I wanted a professional and personal relationship with him. That’s all. Nothing intimate.
Ending the tour and carrying the canoe back, I pointed out how we had only seen one waterfall.
“I’m just saying that it wasn’t what was promised on the website. ‘The most waterfalls in the country.’ That’s what it said.”
“You want the full tour? Buy a ticket,” Claude insisted.
“You just better hope I don’t leave a review. And if you’re expecting a tip, good luck with that,” I said, teasing him.
On the drive to my bed and breakfast, for the first time in years, I felt like I had my best friend back. We talked. At first, it was about my last year at university. Later, the conversation turned to how it was working as Papa’s assistant.
“Have you two been getting along?” he asked, referring to the stories I had told him back at school.
“Sure. He’s been pretty good about things since I came out. It was like he finally let go of who he wanted me to be and accepted me for who I am.”
“Is that good?”
“It’s better than the alternative, which is me feeling his disappointment every time I entered a room.”
“I don’t know what he could ever feel disappointed about.”
“Thanks. But I always got the feeling that if he had to choose between the two of us, he would have chosen you as a son.”
“I doubt that.”
“That’s because you and him are so similar. Neither of you ever expresses what you’re feeling to the people you care about. The way he used to talk about you when you weren’t around, there was no way I could compare. ‘Claude gets straight A’s and has led our team to multiple championships. I can’t even get you to put your dishes in the sink,’” I said, imitating Papa.
“Sorry about that,” Claude offered.
“About what?” I imitated my father again. “About being so goddamn perfect? About being the finest specimen ever put on a football field?” I paused. “You know, a part of me thinks he sent me here just so he could have his prodigal son back.”
“Your father sent you here?” Claude asked, surprised.
“Partially.”
“Huh,” Claude huffed, bringing an end to his questions.
Remaining silent for the final minute of our drive, when we parked at the bed and breakfast, I placed my hand on the door handle.
“So, will I see you tomorrow?” I asked him, feeling as nervous as I had the first day I met him.
