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“Then, what do you suggest we do?”
I looked at the bed again. “Well, the bed’s big enough. We could just sleep together. We’re both adults, right?”
“Right. And there’s plenty of room.”
“Right.”
“Then, I guess we’ll both sleep in the bed,” Lou said with his vulnerable eyes locked on me.
Chapter 5
Lou
I stared at Titus barely able to breathe. I couldn’t believe I was feeling like this about him. He was my buddy. My best friend. I wasn’t supposed to lose my grip whenever he took his shirt off.
On the other hand, there was no way anyone could know that that was what he looked like shirtless. And when he got out of the pool and his hard cock wrapped around his leg? What was I supposed to do?
I mean, my god. He would tear my virgin ass apart with that thing. And what was I doing imagining what it would feel like as he pushed into me?
Now we were agreeing to share the bed? What was I thinking? How was I going to keep my hands off of him? What would happen if he didn’t keep his hands off of me?
“I’ll shower first,” I said needing to get out of there.
“Okay,” he said when I was already past the door.
I had to get a grip on things. Titus wasn’t one of the guys I dated. He was someone special. There was no way I was going to ruin things with him.
Everyone thought that I dated a lot because I couldn’t find anyone good enough. It was something I even told myself. But, deep down I knew that wasn’t it.
Everyone treated me like I was fearless. The truth was that I spent every day scared shitless. I knew that if I let anyone truly get to know me, there was no way they would love me.
I mean, how could they? I was a boy who not even a mother could love. So, why would anyone else?
No, Titus was the only person I had shared my mess of a life with, and for some reason, he didn’t hate me yet. I couldn’t screw things up with him now. If I didn’t have him in my life, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I needed Titus to breathe. He couldn’t also be the guy to take my breath away.
Alone in the bathroom, I got undressed and entered the shower. Looking down, I found myself completely hard. I needed this to go away. I couldn’t encourage this. Titus was my friend. We could never be anything past that.
Collapsing onto the shower wall, I fought the ache that came from wanting us to be something more.
“No, Lou. You can’t do this. He’s your best friend,” I reminded myself. “Don’t screw this up by being you.”
It took a while but eventually, I pulled myself together. It helped to remember that nothing Titus was doing was real. He had agreed to pretend to be my fiancé and that was what he was doing. That’s all.
He didn’t even like guys. I was just his quirky, gay friend who he was doing a favor for. The man was straight. He could never love me like I would want him to. And no matter how his naked chest or hard cock made me feel, that would never change.
“That would never change,” I said aloud allowing the words to break my heart. “That will never change,” I repeated before wrapping a towel around my waist and heading to my room.
“The shower’s free,” I said not looking at him.
“And, where is it again?”
“Oh, sorry. I keep forgetting you’ve never been here before.”
“No, I can see why that happens. I clearly fit right in.”
That made me look up. When our eyes met, we both laughed.
“That’s exactly it,” I told him throwing up my hands in mock resignation.
