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I could spend the rest of my life with Lou in my arms. If I did, I would die happy. With him there, I felt complete. And lying in bed with him, I couldn’t fall asleep in fear that it would end.
This was the day I had kissed Lou for the first time. Not just that, but he had kissed me back. With his body on top of me, his lips had pressed against mine. I never felt more alive in my life.
The last thing I wanted was for this day to end. And I held out as long as I could. But eventually, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, Lou wasn’t next to me. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. There was no question that this weekend had been a lot for him. I could see the pain his family caused him. He pretended like he didn’t care what they thought, but he cared deeply.
Watching him sit there with his shirt off, I also couldn’t help but think how good he looked. I wanted to grip his small waist in my hands and then slide my fingertips across his smooth chest. With my arm holding him tightly, I would rest my chin on the bend of his neck. As my face brushed against his hair, I would tickle the back of his ear with the tip of my nose.
My cock pulsed thinking about it. I ached to touch him. Being away from him was torture. But I knew this was a big day for him. It wasn’t about what I wanted. It was about helping him survive.
“You doin’ alright there?” I asked touching his hip with my foot.
Lou sniffled and wiped his eyes before looking back. My baby was crying. It broke my heart.
“Yeah. Just being silly,” he said forcing a chuckle.
“What time is the will reading?”
“It’s at 11.”
I looked at the clock. It was already past 10. How had I slept so late?
“Shit! Was there something you wanted to do before then?”
“You mean before my family hated me for life?”
“You don’t know how they’ll respond. Who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise you.”
“You think there’s a chance they’ll find out my grandmother left me everything and they won’t declare war against me? Have you met them?”
“I have. But, if you give them a chance, people change. And maybe once they realize that they can’t push you around anymore, they’ll be nicer to you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he said not believing it. “Can you be with me when they read it? They’ll probably say some horrible things about you being there, but I want you with me.”
“Of course!” I said honored that he would want me there. “And don’t worry, I learned a long time ago to not listen to what people say. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but neither should you.
“People who only care about themselves aren’t worth winning over because all you’ll ever be to them is a means to an end. There’s no way you can win with them. So what’s the point in playing their game?”
Lou stared at me stunned. “Wow!”
“What?” I asked suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“I’ve never heard you talk like this. Is it because we slept together? Because if it is, sign me up,” he said with a flirtatious smile.
“You’re on the top of the list,” I said never wanting him more.
“Nice,” he said giving me a wink. “But as true as what you said might be, it’s not easy to stop caring what they think. I’ve lived a lifetime with them telling me that what they think should be the only thing that matters. I can’t just flip that switch like it’s a light.”
“I know. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that I wish you could see yourself the way I see you instead of the way they do.”
“And how’s that,” he asked vulnerably.
“As someone who’s pretty great. Someone who cares a lot about their friends even if you hide it behind jokes. Also, you’re so funny. If I ever want to feel good or have a good laugh, all I need to do is find you. Lou, you’re the greatest guy I know,” I said showing him my heart.
Lou twisted his mouth not believing it but not wanting to argue.
“You should tell my family that. Because as far as they’re concerned, I’m just their embarrassing, too gay son. Ya know, I often wonder if they would love me more if I was a good gay.”
