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“What?” I said, feeling like I was caught red handed.
“Do you like it?” he asked, gesturing to the food.
I looked down, realizing I hadn’t been eating.
“Yeah. Definitely,” I said, returning to my meal
“So, how did you end up here?” he asked surprising me as the one making conversation.
“Do you mean in this town?”
“Yeah. There’s a running joke here about how we’re barely on the map. No one can figure out how people keep finding us.”
“Oh. Luck, I guess. I was just driving. I didn’t really have an itinerary when I left New York. But, when I started seeing landmarks that I had only heard about, I made a bit of a plan to visit as many of the famous national parks as I could find.”
“There aren’t any national parks around here,” Cali said confused.
“No. But when I was searching online, a website said this town had more waterfalls than anywhere else in Tennessee. I figured it was worth seeing.”
Cali offered a knowing smile and continued eating.
“What? Is that not true.”
“No, it’s true. It’s just that the website was made by my brother.”
“Do you mean Titus or Claude?”
He paused.
“Did I mention them to you?”
“No. I was talking to Marcus. He was saying that you just found out you had brothers you didn’t know existed.”
“I knew they existed. I just didn’t know they were family.”
“How did that happen?”
As soon as I said it, I knew I had hit a sore point. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“No, it’s fine. I didn’t know because my mama didn’t tell me and Titus’s mama never told him. I don’t think Claude’s mama knew.”
“Wow! It must be weird knowing that this whole time your mother was keeping something from you.”
The pain that he felt pulsed off of him. It took everything in me not to climb across the table and comfort him.
“Yeah. It’s a point of contention. I hadn’t visited Mama in a while because of it. Before the accident, I hadn’t seen her in weeks. I would drive up from school and not stop by. What if I had lost her in that accident? Our argument would have been the last time she and I spoke,” he said fighting back heartbreak.
This time I couldn’t stop myself. Rushing to my feet, I circled the table and threw my arms around him. The back of his chair stopped my chest from connecting with his body. But I touched my temple to his feeling every bit of his pain.
“I’m so sorry about what happened to your mother. I’m so sorry,” I told him, drowning in guilt.
He didn’t respond. That was fine. He didn’t need to tell me how upset he was with me. I’m just glad he allowed me to hold him. I couldn’t change the hurt I had caused him. But I could do everything I could to make it up to him.
As I leaned over with our two bodies touching, the anguish I felt subsided just enough for me to breathe in his scent. It was a mixture of pine and a musk that drove me wild. Without realizing it, it got harder to breathe. I had to take deeper breaths, and when I did, I breathed in more of him.
I was quickly losing myself. When I couldn’t take anymore, my fingertips tightened around his rippling muscles.
When he inhaled deeply, expanding his chest, I caught myself and let go. What was I doing? He was hurting, and I couldn’t stop thinking about his naked body pressed against mine. He would hate me if he knew that I was the one responsible for him almost losing his mother. I had no right to be doing what I was.
