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“We want… I mean, don’t we? Don’t we both want?” he asked, begging me to say yes.
“There’s nothing I would want more,” I told him, meaning every word.
His demeanor brightened.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll both stay in your room,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Driving my mother home from the hospital, my hands were shaking. My mother’s care was now up to me. I had consulted with her doctors and I had Hil’s help, but it ultimately came down to me. I was going to do anything I had to do to help her recover, but she made me promise that it wouldn’t come at the expense of school. It was an impossible bargain, but I had to keep it.
On top of that, there was Hil. How would my mother respond to what was developing between us. I hadn’t told her how I felt about guys.
Yeah, there have been times when my fair skin might have given away my feelings. But there was no way for her to know how I truly felt. I never told her.
So, from knowing nothing, she was going to see Hil and me sharing a bed. How would I explain that? And as sure as I was about my feelings for him, I still didn’t know how public I wanted it to be.
It had been great bringing him to game night. He fit in better than I ever have. Quin had treated him like the brother he never had. In one night, Hil had made himself a part of the group—a feat that I still wasn’t sure I had accomplished.
But, winning the guys over was easy. There was also the rest of the town and even my teammates back At East Tennessee. It wasn’t that I didn’t think they would accept him or us. It was that being with him revealed a part of myself to the world that I wasn’t ready to face.
It was more than that he was a guy. Being with Hil meant that I needed others. And, I get it, everybody needs somebody. But I wasn’t sure I was ready for everyone to know that that included me.
Arriving home, Hil immediately came out to greet us.
“Cali told me how much you’ve been helping with the business. I can’t thank you enough,” Mama said, staring at him through the open truck door.
“Of course,” he said heartfully. “Anything you need, just let me know. It’s not a problem at all,” he replied with his hand on his heart.
“He also told me that he’s been teaching you how to cook,” Mama said as we helped her into the house.
“It’s more like he’s been holding the fire extinguisher as I burn things,” he joked.
“That’s not what I hear. I was told you’re cooking up a storm. You’ve been making breakfast for our guests?” she asked, having ascended the stairs to the porch.
“If you call putting out the cereal and Marcus’s pastries making breakfast, then yeah,” he said with a smile.
“You know that’s not true. Hil has been scrambling eggs and making pancakes. He’s even made waffles that rivals yours, Mama,” I said, not allowing Hil to get away with putting himself down.
“Waffles that rival mine, huh?” she asked, revealing a hint of her competitive side.
Hil could not have been more embarrassed.
“Oh, no. They are edible at best. The ones Cali makes are out of this world. I just cover mine with enough fresh berries that you can’t taste them.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s saying, Mama. He’ll have to cook some for you and you can tell him how good they are. It doesn’t look like he’s going to believe me.”
“How can I? All you say are nice things.”
“I say those nice things because you deserve it. If everyone was like you, this world would be a whole lot better place. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I can’t imagine what it might feel like to see you leave,” I said, no longer having to come out to my mother.
Hil didn’t respond with anything but a heartfelt smile. I was hoping I hadn’t embarrass him. But he was an amazing guy. I couldn’t just stand by and let him say those things about himself. My mother needed to know how wonderful he was. And if he wasn’t going to speak up for himself, I was going to yell it from the rooftops.
After talking up his cooking abilities, he begged for me to be the one to cook dinner.
“I’ll make breakfast,” he said, psyching himself up.
“Anything you make will be amazing,” I told him, knowing it was true.
After dinner and then helping my mother to her room, Hil and I stared at her not sure what to do next. “So, did you two figure out the sleeping arrangements?” my mother asked, embarrassing the hell out of me.
