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“Where are you?” was the first thing out of Keerah’s mouth when I answered her call. The tone she used would have normally annoyed me but I wasn’t in the mood to expend energy on her at the moment. I had bigger issues so I bypassed the question with one of my own.
“Did Jo get you set up?”
“If you mean did she demand I move my things out of your place, then yes.”
“Keerah, I already told you what the situation would be. You shouldn’t be surprised, more like grateful.”
“Grateful that you brought me here and abandoned me for a woman that kept a child from you?”
“Toy is none of your business but let me ask you something and I need you to be completely honest…”
“I’m listening.”
“Did I ever present the idea that you and I would be together?”
“No, but…”
“No. Let’s leave it there. Not once did I insinuate we would be together. Sex is not commitment. I brought you with me because you needed a pack. Ahome.”
“I know that sex isn’t commitment, Xander. I’m mature enough to understand that but I assumed we would at least maintain our friendship. We were together out there. You and me. We relied on each other, looked out for one another. We werefriends.”
“We’re still friends, Keerah. My life is very complicated right now.” I glanced at the front door to my cabin.
“Your family doesn’t want me here.”
Jo wasn’t thrilled with the idea of me bringing a woman to our pack. She was close to Toyin. Their friendship and bond had grown tremendously in the time I had been gone but Jo was also our Luna. She was fair and even if she didn’t like the idea of Keerah, she wouldn’t be malicious…I hoped.
“Did Jo say or do something…”
“No…” she huffed. “She was cordial, almost nice, when she got me situated. She set me up with some of the other pack members working at the plant nursery and even told me to reach out to her if I needed anything. But I’m not naïve. She’s being respectful because ofyou,not because I’m being welcomed with open arms.”
“Being with me won’t change any of that.” No point in me lying. If I chose Keerah over Toyin, which would never happen, Jo would likely hate her more.
“It might.” She sounded hopeful.
“Trust me, it won’t. Jo is fair and the pack follows her lead. Prove you want to be here for the right reasons and they will embrace you. You can’t make it about me.”
“I know. I just figured it might be easier.”
“I promise it won’t and Keerah, we’re friends. If you play your cards right we’ll be pack family but that’s all I can offer. I’ve always been upfront about where we stood.”
“You have but now you’re taking sex off the table. Really amazing sex. You have to expect that I’ll be a little unhappy about the no sex thing. I will admit that having a home outweighs the sex, no matter how amazing.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “I would say I’m offended but I understand.”
She released a sigh. “I’ll make it work. Thank you again. I do appreciate everything you’ve done.”
“I don’t want you to thank me. I want you to find your place here. You deserve to have a home, Keerah.”
“Right. I’ll make nice with my potential new Luna.”
“Yeah, that will help. I have to go.” I ended the call and stared at my cabin. Even if I didn’t have the situation with Toyin, Keerah would never be more than she had been. A distraction. I liked her but my standards for being happy had been obliterated in a coffee shop years ago and now here I was, stuck in a never-ending cycle of unhappiness.
Who the fuck did I piss off?
The question had been on repeat in my mind for the past year. It began the minute I’d experienced the wonders and depths of Toyin Alden.
I sat in my car staring at the house that held everything I wanted in life. The woman I loved and the child I never expected to have with her. My son. I wanted it all but having it all with Toyin wasn’t possible. One of us would die so I had to settle for half. Being a father to my son, then one day watching as another man loved the woman who’d given him to me, knowing she would tolerate him but only ever love me.
