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I consider cracking a joke about how disappointing that would be, but I keep quiet, because for once there is nothing joking about Lo’zar’s expression. He brushes his tongue over my clit, just a feather touch, and I squirm underneath him. I know I can’t make a sound—Graz forbade us from doing this in his bed. I feel guilty, but I want nothing more than my troll on top of me, inside of me, surrounding me. I need to remember him.
He repeats the motion again, and I sink into the soft furs, luxuriating in his touch. My eyes fall closed and my head drifts back as his delicious mouth speeds up, giving me the last push I need to crack open, and then I’m spilling out, all my wishes and fears.
As my body seizes, I slap a hand over my mouth to hold in the sound. Lo’zar slides back up my body, licking his lips, until our hips are pressed together and his heavy cock is squashed between my thighs, the shaft rubbing over my most tender place. He sighs into my ear as I rock against him, desiring him with all of myself.
Lo’zar, I say, brushing back some of his wild hair.Please. I want you. Right now.
His orange eyes lock with mine, and in them I can see everything: his hope, his longing, his pain. Every last one of my emotions is reflected back at me, and all I want is to hold him close to me forever, the weight of his body on mine holding me to the earth.
He doesn’t need to look down as he spreads my legs, hooking my knees over his hips, because our bodies already know just how to join together like pieces of a puzzle. No, he remains staring into me, watching every movement of my face as he brings his soft cockhead to the smooth, slick cavern where it belongs. It slips between my edges, fitting perfectly inside me. I try my hardest not to make a sound as he delves in only an inch, then retreats, letting me shift and conform to his shape. Then another inch, and another, as his swollen cock spreads me wide for him. When it seems like I won’t be able to hold in my moans any longer he kisses me, swallowing my desperate sounds into his own mouth.
I will always be with you,he says, cupping my face in one hand as he continues his progress deeper and deeper inside me.Even when we’re apart, you will be the first thing on my mind when I wake up every day, and the last thought I have when I go to sleep.
My face aches with unspent tears as he tells me these words, because I know I will always feel the same way.
“Lo’zar,” I whisper to him as he finally sinks the rest of the way in, and he lets out a shuddering breath. There are so many words I want to say, things hiding just inside my lips, but that would only hurt more. I will remember him as long as I live, and even afterwards. I know I’ll never find again what I’ve found here, wrapped up in him—my cocky, handsome, big-hearted troll.
I press my face into his neck to stifle the tears as he gently moves inside me, one slow, agonizing stroke at a time, swirling up the small strands of my pleasure into a big, glowing ball of bliss. My legs wrap tight around his waist as his mouth grows more urgent against mine. I feel it in my own heart as the beat of his quickens, as his blood moves faster and faster, hot and filled with need. I hear his thoughts in mine, all his affection and joy and misery scrambled in one wild orchestra.
I don’t know how long we make love like this, tangled in each other, memorizing every last crease and swell of each other’s bodies, but I never want it to end. I have to shove blankets into my mouth to silence myself, but Lo’zar’s grunts are almost as loud.
I can’t wait to feel you come around me,he says, his mental voice unsteady with emotion.I want to feel all of you, my sweet, lovely, perfect princess.
I obey. My body clamps down tight, and a cry surges from my mouth into the blankets. The pleasure sweeps over me, meeting a tidal wave of heartbreak on the other side. Tears finally break free as he yanks his cock out of me, and spills his generous seed between my thighs, instead. It makes me feel so empty, so hollow inside, that my tears morph into sobs, and I bury my face in the bed in an effort to be quiet.
Rimi?he asks with concern. I just shake my head, unable to stop the flow, or even to say a single word. His arms pull me in tight, gripping me like iron, and he buries his face in my neck as I cry. I feel his own wet tears on my skin, and the last piece of me breaks.
We lie like that until there’s nothing left inside either of us. Two husks, we eventually fall asleep into a shared dream where all of this is different.
Chapter21
Lo’zar
The idea that she’ll leave me finally became real when I saw her transform from my delicate Rimi to a big, tall trolless, one who would easily fit in anywhere in Kalishagg, anywhere in trollkin lands. Now there should be no problem with getting her aboard the ship.
I was desperate to keep her, but she is not a thing to be kept. She deserves her home in the stars.
When we wake up the next morning, it’s time to go.
“Thank you, friend.” I clap Graz on the back, but I don’t feel the words. I almost wish that he’d failed, even though I know a gifted mind like his would never be outsmarted, even by magic. “I’m sorry for being a pain in your ass.”
Graz shrugs. “Yeah, you were. But I’m going to make good use of that stuff you brought me.” He wags a finger. “You’re going with her, aren’t you?”
“Just until Eyra Cove,” I say.
He sighs. “Then draw me a map, at least, of where you found that stuff.”
“You don’t need one. You already found it. It’s on that map in your shop.”
Graz’s eyes widen. “Why didn’t you say anything? So I was right. Those books I found...” He trails off. “Well, if you’re headed to the cove, you should know that the necklace will work on you, too.” He eyes me. “In case you need to pass as human for a while.”
Me, looking like a human? Blegh.
He hands me a copy of the boat schedule, then gives a little wave at Rimi. “She’s actually not so bad,” he admits as he steps out the door. “I think I can tell what you see in her, Lo’zar.” Graz looks uncertain, and his voice drops low. “Are you sure you want to send her home if she is who you think she is? What will happen to you?”
I knows what he means: the torture of being separated. But I don’t have a choice. “There’s no life for her here,” I say.
“What about a neutral city?” he asks. “Go to the desert. Gusak would never follow you there.”
