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That brings me to the crux of what happened. The selfish asshole I was back then wanted out of the Grayson empire because I didn’t want anything to do with my father.
How ironic it was that River’s father loathed me because I was Tobias Grayson’s spawn of. Her father never cared that mine wouldn’t claim me as his son, and he never cared that I saw him as nothing but a sperm donor. It was simply enough that the Grayson blood flowed through my veins. Neil St. James told me exactly that when he warned me away from his daughter.
I got that warning five times and never listened. If I had listened even once, I might not feel as guilty as I have for the last eight years.
Then again, I know I would, because I wouldn’t have wanted to do anything to hurt her. Yet I did.
Back then, I would have done anything to get away from my father and his constant reminders of how his bastard children didn’t belong to the Grayson family.
While Knight fought, I looked for a way out. That’s where I went wrong.
I came across the wrong kind of people, who offered me a black-market job.
Being offered twenty thousand dollars at the age of twenty-one for your computer hacking skills when you were trying to create your own wealth sounded like a sweet deal.
The kind of deal you don’t say no to when you don’t have your own money, and your grandfather insists on keeping it that way so you can focus on your studies at college.
The job was to create a hacking device for a new-age sophisticated firewall similar to what you find in the military, or in government agencies like the CIA.
I was used to that shit like the back of my hand. The deal was so irresistible I didn’t even dig around to find out how the dealer knew about me and my skills.
There aren’t many people like me who can naturally understand how to hack, and I was no saint. I would hack a system just because I could or wanted to create chaos and havoc for fun.
I did the job and later found out that the dealer wanted the device to hack into River’s father’s company, Jaeger Tech. They stole his designs and everything his team created.
After that happened, Neil and his team were fired, then his business partner took out his fury on Neil. That’s why Neil is in a wheelchair and his business partner is dead.
Because of me. Because of my selfishness. Because I didn’t think first before accepting the devil’s deal.
I unknowingly opened the door to chaos and havoc and allowed both to screw with River’s family.
There was nothing I could do to stop it—even though I tried—and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I tried that, too, hoping I could get Neil his job back, but I failed.
That secret is one I’ve harbored for years and my reason for breaking up with River.
There was no way I could be with her after that. Telling her wasn’t an option. I know I never pulled the trigger on the gun and released the bullet that paralyzed her father, but I saw it as my fault.
If I hadn’t done what I did, none of it would have happened.
My father was the devil to Neil, but his son—me—became his destroyer.
The only people who know what happened are Luc and my grandfather.
Luc knows the whole story, but my grandfather only knows about the dealers and the dangerous parts of the plan because it nearly came back to bite me in more dangerous ways.
Grandfather protected me from that danger. I don’t know exactly what he did, but I was never contacted by those people again.
When this marriage thing came about, I knew even without being told that he was adding my past mistakes in the mix to form his decision.
He values my talents and what I bring to the company, but he thinks I’m reckless and the ruthless rebel who doesn’t care about responsibility because I always find a way out of trouble.
Celeste’s annoying giggle fills the space between us, telling me I’m done for the night. I showed up, gave this date a shot, and crossed her off my list, so there’s no point sticking around. Besides, even I know I’m being a prick for being on a date with one woman while thinking about another.
I’m about to tell her the night is over when my phone buzzes with a text.
“Sorry, I have to check this.” I retrieve my phone, and Celeste nods, giving me a little smile.
“No worries. I’ll wait all night.”
