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Sorry, Dad, I didn’t mean to fall for the one boy you told me never to see, and I certainly never meant to run into him eight years later and lose my dignity all over again.
“Yes, let’s be happy that never happened.” I pray he can’t see through me. It would be hell on earth if I told him I might be seeing the Grayson boy he’s talking about tonight.
Dad seems to relax on hearing my anti-Grayson comment.
“What are your plans this week?” He smiles, and the angst he previously exuded fades away. “I was thinking we could go to the outdoor cinema. They’re playingThe Sound of Musicall week.”
I return his smile. “Sure, we can do that.”
“Great. You’re working too hard, kiddo. I can see it in your face. Your mother would never forgive me if I let something happen to you, and I would never forgive myself either. I can’t do much, but these small things help.”
I nod with appreciation that he’s acknowledged how hard I work. “It will be great to go to the cinema with you, and maybe we can have dinner, too.”
“Sure thing.” Concern dims his expression once more. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet all day. I know you’re worried about Gina.”
He knows about the chest pains and has been as worried as I have been.
“I am, but she’s been okay.”
“Good. That woman is a fighter. You are, too. I know it must be hard to go from living the dream with your career and the man you were supposed to marry to this.”
“Yeah. It’s hard.” I really hope this isn’t going to be one of those talks where he glosses over the fact that Sasha was a monster.
“I was really hoping Sasha would have taken care of you and given you a good life. I’m sure he still would if he could. He loved you.”
My entire body goes rigid. Here we go. I hate when he says things like that.
Dad knows the story. He knows what Sasha did to me and how he ruined my career. He knows the abuse I suffered, yet instead of being happy I got away, he chooses to see things in a way I don’t know who else would.
I understand Dad regrets the loss of opportunity we would have gained from Sasha’s wealth and that they got on like fire and gasoline, but it’s beyond me that he can forget all the horrible things that happened.
“Dad, he was an abusive asshole. I’m happy he’s not in my life anymore. You keep forgetting the bad parts.”
“I haven’t, sweetheart.” He shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with me expressing remorse for something that could have been perfect. I know you. You loved him, too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day when he first approached you, and you would have never accepted his marriage proposal.”
I also hate when he raises valid points I can’t deny. I did love Sasha. I loved him a lot, but that love turned to hate when he used his fists on me. It was hard to love him after that and harder to wrap my head around how he could tell me he loved me then hurt me in the same breath.
What my father doesn’t realize or understand is that Sasha changed. When things didn’t go the way he wanted, he changed and took out his frustration on me.
“Sweetheart—”
“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” My voice rises, and I hold my hand up to stop him from continuing. If I don’t put a stop to this conversation, he’ll go on for hours, and everything he says will hurt me even more. Dad doesn’t get that I don’t even want to hear Sasha’s name. Every time I think of him or hear his name, I think of how awful he was to me. Then, of course, there was what happened to me after he went to prison. I was kidnapped, held at gunpoint, and taken to Kazakhstan, where I was locked away in a dungeon until Gina came to get me. All because of one guy.
I still have nightmares, and when I remember what I went through, it cripples me.
Dad doesn’t think about any of those things.
“I’m sorry, Dad.” I swallow the rising panic. “I don’t mean to be so harsh. It’s just hard talking about him.”
“That’s okay.” Dad nods, understanding, but I know his understanding only extends to me not wanting to talk about Sasha, not about my abhorrent feelings toward him.
Or why I knew my only escape from our relationship was to sell my ex-fiancé out to the police.
The only people who know that secret are Dad, Gina, and Eden.
The only person I wouldn’t have told out of the three is my father. Gina ended up telling him because she felt she had to give him the full story. Dad was always in touch with him, and Gina wanted to highlight the gravity of what happened to me because of Sasha so he would stop.
To my knowledge, Sasha doesn’t know I left Russia, and he doesn’t know I’m back in New York. I want to keep it that way. He’s in prison for the next eight years, but people like him can do things from prison when they find out you wronged them.
