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Heapproached my drunk ass in the bar.
Hetook me back to his house when I couldn’t make it home. He fed me, showed me all his nerd shit, and let me crash in his bed.
Hedrove me back to my car.
Heoffered to give me snowboarding lessons.
He made move after move, and here I am whining that he’s not making another one? My borderline senile friend is right. It’s time to put on my big-girl panties. I’m going to call him and ask him to teach me to snowboard with my douchebag ex’s board. I might as well getsomeuse out of it.Yeah… I’ll use it to score me a better guy.
“You know what? You’re right, Gramma,” I tell Dolores.
She grins and holds her almost empty cup out to cheers my paper one.
“I’m going to call him and ask him to teach me how to board, and then I’ll ask him to take me to the hospital after I crash into a snowplow!”
“That’s the spirit, poopsie,” Dolores cheers as I tap my cup a little too hard against hers, causing the top to pop off and my coffee to slosh on the floor.
“Dammit,” I grumble down at the mess, just as the café door jingles and in comes yet another thwarted security guard, sporting the Shady Meadows parka.
“Dammit,” Dolores deadpans with a grunt.
* * *
Kyle
“Maybe I should call her,” I mumble pathetically into my folded arms as Adam sets a hot chocolate down on the table in front of me.
“Absolutely not,” says my all-knowing friend who acts like he dates all the time, when in reality, he hasn’t been out with a woman since 2014. “You can’t show too much interest. Those are the rules these days,” he informs me as he takes a seat in the chair adjacent to my desk. “You’ve already shown too much of your hand. Time to make her work for it a little.” He shrugs, tucking into his coffee.
“Why the hell did you bring me cocoa?” I ask, looking up at the cup he put in front of me.
“To cheer you up. Your drunk hottie woke up sober in your version of Tatooine, realized she slept in a nerd’s bed, politely thanked you, and now is avoiding you at all costs out of fear you’ll turn her to the Dark Side, or make her your precious and follow her around like Gollum,” he concludes casually, taking another sip from his cup.
Wow.
“It takes true talent to incorporate so many of my passions into an argument for why she hasn’t called me,” I deadpan as I blow across the top of the stupid cocoa. “And my pad is the Millennium Falcon, not Tatooine,” I mumble into the cup.
“Semantics.” He shrugs.
“Says the guy who always wins atStar Warstrivia and insists on being game master for all our D & D tournaments. Not to mention you’re a fellow techie,” I point out, gesturing to the office of desks and computers around us; the part of the ski resort visitors don’t see.
“Hey, I never said I wasn’t a nerd.” He gestures at himself with his Chewbacca mug. “I’m just saying you need to accept that girls like your bar hottie don’t go for guys like us. You have to lay off the gas and make her come to you. Calling girls after asking for their numbers makes most guys look like smitten Prince Charmings, but it makes guys like us look desperate. Just reality checking you, homie.”
“You’re being a dick of Jedi proportions,homie.” I correct him as my phone goes off in my desk drawer. I quickly but carefully set my hot drink down to pull it open.
“Ooh! Is it her?” Adam teases in a girly voice.
I grab the stress ball from my desk and chuck it at him, making him spill his coffee down the front of his Starship Enterprise T-shirt. I pull my phone out and unlock the screen to find a text from Gwen.
Goddess Gwen: I’m ready for that lesson. Call me later to discuss?
I hold the phone up to Adam, who’s pinching his shirt and popping the material in and out.
“Don’t go for guys like me, huh?” I snark before pulling my phone back and tapping out a response.
“See?” He raises his cup righteously. “I told you if you held off, she’d come to you.”
I hold up my middle finger before asking Gwen to meet me on the slopes on Wednesday.
