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Fuck, I don’t want to tell him what I found out yesterday when my mom called me. It will just wind him up, especially when he’s half a world away where he can’t do anything about it. “It’s…” I shake my head trying to come up with a way to downplay it and fast. “It’s not a big deal, okay?”
The stiffening of his shoulders as he leans in closer and the way his eyes turn into two green lasers tell me he’s already decided that this is in fact, a big deal.
“Lu, what’s going on?” he demands rather than asks, his jaw as hardened has his voice.
I feel my heart beat faster as he holds a proverbial microscope over me. “Okay,” I breathe, “but before you freak out, I want you to know it’s been taken care of.”
“What’s been taken care of, Luna?” He’s getting exasperated, and I know now’s not the right time to tell him he’s sexy when he’s mad.
I draw in a dose of air, pulling it deep into my lungs before I let it out with the words as quickly as I can. “Carter sent flowers to my parent’s house.”
Kaleb goes eerily quiet, his expression stone cold as he stares straight ahead but at nothing. He holds this expression for two to three beats before he explodes.
“Mother fucker!” he roars as he slams his hand down on the tabletop he’s been leaning against. I jump at his outburst that makes even my serene setting feel like a panic room about now.
“K, please…” I bring the screen closer to my face, willing my eyes to anchor him. “Look at me,” I beckon as his shoulders rise and fall with the heaviness of his breathing, but he obliges, looking at me with a desperate fury.
“Lu, I swear to God, I’m going to come back there and fuck him up!”
“We filed a no-contact order,” I cut him off gently, still trying to get him to match my energy.
“What do you mean?” he grumbles out between heaving breaths.
“I mean my parents and I filed an order for him to not contact me again. If he tries anymore shit, he’ll be arrested. Don’t worry.”
Kaleb holds a clenched fist in front of his mouth, trying to calm down. “Luna,” he grinds out, my name muffled by his hand.
“K, I don’t know why he’s popped up after a year with all these crazy ideas,” I shake my head as the words come out serrated by my raucous heartbeat. “But I’ve been doing the right thing by not engaging, and now I’m shutting him down. I’ve sent the message that if he keeps this up, there’s going to be consequences.” My tone has mounted in firmness, ensuring that I get through to Kaleb loud and clear. Sometimes he needs just what he gives, and right now, I know he needs firm reassurance that everything is under control.
He stares downward at nothing for a moment, but the set of his eyes gives away the depth of his thought. “I hate not being there, Lu,” he finally says around his tightened fist. “I hate not being able to protect what’s mine.”
A thrill shoots up my back and tickles at my neck at the possessive quality in his statement, but I try to stay focused on calming him down. “I know,” I murmur quietly, “but you’re protecting thousands of innocents instead,” I remind him. “I’m taking care of what’s yours right now. I promise. Okay?” I raise my eyebrows, trying to get him to unclench and let go.
I see his fingers flex and a weighted sigh release from his body before he gives a reluctant nod.
“Now…” I proceed, feeling partial relief as I try to move us forward. “Can we get back to this beautiful moment please?” I raise my eyebrows giving him a hopeful look, and he shakes his head.
“For now,” he grunts, still grumpy, but it’s good enough for me as I settle back against the cabin wall.
23
KALEB
I’m seething. The explosions happening in my mind right now rival those that are happening over on the front lines.
So… Luna’s ex ran into a wall when she changed her last name, and so he’s trying the last bit of contact information he had. While I wanted to hunt him down and deliver an in-person message to fuck off, I listened to my girl and allowed her to just shut him down.
Seems it only made him all the more persistent, like he’s enjoying the game, or he knows if he just keeps pushing, he’ll get what he wants. I get the feeling he’s not used to not getting his way. And now here I am… in the eye of this war, seeing things I’d give my soul to unsee, and some sociopathic piece of shit is fucking with my girl. Back home, where things are simple with only my own shit to deal with, I’d be able to protect her with no problem. One visit from me would fix the whole thing. There’s one person in this world that I love. Just one. But instead, I’m over here, futilely defending thousands of nameless people – innocent people who didn’t ask to have their homes invaded, or their lives terrorized. Not being part of the front-line infantry, there’s not much I can do but pick up the pieces. Never in my life have I felt so ineffective, and in Luna’s case, helpless.
My palms sweat as my fists clench, though I try to hide it from Luna. I try to focus on her, sitting back against the cabin with a light breeze ruffling the strands of her honey-brown hair, but my mind is millions of miles farther away than my actual body.
“Baby,” she says so softly, yet it breaks through my thoughts like a nuclear blast. I feel the muscles in my back and my arms immediately unclench as if by involuntary reflex, and my vision refocuses. Seems I was looking at her without actually seeing her now that her beautiful face is clear on the screen with her eyes searching mine, willing me to feel calm. “I’m never going to tell you not to feel things,” her soft voice continues as she looks thoughtfully down at her lap, “but please don’t let them rule you. Not the bad ones anyway.”
I pull in a deep breath through my nose. If she only knew how hard it is not to let bad feelings rule you when you’re stepping over the dead bodies of helpless people that were defenseless against their plight. Pulling brothers that I’d just had breakfast with that morning onto the hawk as they cling to life; barely breathing. These are things she can’t understand, even if I told her about them. You simply can’t if you’re not the one living it. Instead, I’ll protect her in the one way I can right now. I’ll protect her heart.
“Okay, baby,” I begin and exhale the fortifying breath I was building, “I’ll try,” I concede, winking at her and letting my heart release at the smiling relief in those brown eyes.
* * *
