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“Uggghhh!”Alex grunts as my fist connects with his jaw, but he recovers quickly, whipping his head back in my direction. “That’s it,” he nods approvingly, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his taped hand. “Now I’ve gotta tell you, I wasn’t too happy when I couldn’t get a hold of your wife,” he quirks an eyebrow at me, goading me to release my pent-up rage all over his fucking face. “She’s just playing hard to get, but there’s no way she doesn’t want me – oof!” I hear the air whoosh out of him as I deliver a blow to his gut.
We continue to circle and spar as a few of our brothers sit around the perimeter of the tent, heckling in amusement. It was Alex’s idea to role play as that fuck, Carter, and help me get out some of my aggression. I’d held it together for the rest of my conversation with Luna, but I was ready to blow when our video date ended.
I don’t know how long we go for, but I let myself zone out, thinking of every woman and child I’ve found among the shambles as I throw each punch, occasionally coming back to reality in time for Alex to make a jab about Carter going after my woman. She’s mine, and he clearly thinks he can still have her at his will. The horror I’ve seen… and the conniving shit that I can’t cyclone together as I lash out at it. Every flash of pain it sends through my nervous system I give back full force, knowing that after all our training together, Alex can take it.
When I’ve used up every last ounce of strength, fury, sweat, and breath, I sit on a folding chair with my arms resting on my legs, thoroughly depleted. An occasional bead of sweat drops from my hairline to the dirt floor, and I stare at it like it’s some oasis. I sometimes wonder what I’m doing all this for. I wanted to do something with my life, but was this really the only option?
I was a bad boy going nowhere, and I wanted to be good enough. Good enough for my good girl. Good enough for the world. I wanted to do something significant in my life; something heroic, and then maybe spend the rest of it giving back to Pops’ legacy. With no money or education to get started, serving seemed like my only option.
I see Alex plop his ass down in the chair next to me, the stink of sweat wafting off him, and before I can look up at him, a can is held out in front of my line of vision.
“What’s this?” I ask quietly, all the rage and energy gone for the night.
“Some piss water the locals call beer,” he scoffs out with a half-smile. He looks like shit, but also like he couldn’t be bothered in the least.
“Thanks,” I mumble, cracking it open. When you’re deployed, things like beer are hard to come by. Tipping it back I take a hearty glug, and he’s right. It tastes terrible, but at least it’s cold. After a few swallows I lower the can, holding it between my hands and look up at him again, taking in his battered, and sweaty appearance. “Thank you,” I say sincerely. Not every friend will take a beating just to help you manage your emotions. And with Luna letting me get aggressive during sex, the two of them are like peas in a pod.
He waves a hand, taking a slug of his beer before swallowing. “I’m at war, I have to come home with some kind of battle scars,” he jokes. “People won’t believe where I was when I come back.”
“Like I left any marks,” I huff, shaking my head. I stuck to mainly body blows – except when he dug at me about Luna. Then I had to go for the face, pretending it was that shithead, Carter’s, not that I know what he looks like. I’ve been reluctant to look him up for fear that I’ll blow a fuse.
I’m not sure when I became such an angry person. I was a happy kid at one point, despite getting knocked around by my dad.
Hell, maybe I thought being in a world full of carnage and demons would help me expel my own, that the brotherhood would provide the camaraderie that would give me a sense of belonging.
“Besides,” he adds, ignoring my remark, “I owed you a solid after you took the heat for us when we snuck that bottle of Jack into prom.
I stand, ready for a shower, a jerk-off session to thoughts of Luna, and a few hours of sleep. “Hey,” I shrug, “you’d been trying to hit that with Colette Jeffries for a year. I’m there for you, man.” I reach my fist out and he bumps his against it.
“Debt finally repaid,” he says and sits back, shaking his head. “Night, man.”
“G’night.”
* * *
Luna
I handmy cash over to Colleen, the barista that hosts a tiny espresso stand in the parking lot of the Gas & Grocery and tell her to keep the change as I take my latte from her in return. I cross the lot that’s damp with dew from the night before, and find the gas tank still fueling my car.
Leaning my back against it, I wait for it to click off, taking a sip of my hot coffee as the sun starts creeping up over the brick buildings of main street. It’s not quite fall yet, but the nip in the morning air heralds its impending arrival.
Once again, for the fall semester, I was able to lump my classes together two days a week, but I’ve realized the downfall of living in a small town – and that is you can only get so many people to book a paint and sip party, so I’ve had to put in an extra evening or two a week in the city, trying to make some money.
“Well aren’t you just settling in?” A slithery voice breaks me from my morning thoughts, and I look over to see Cheyenne approaching, hands in the pockets of her jacket as the glass door to the gas station closes behind her. Her blonde curls are down and around her shoulders today, and I’m almost envious. My hair has some waves, but it was curlier when I was younger.
I lift a shoulder, taking another sip. “It’s been almost five months,” I hint. This isn’t the first time our paths have crossed since I met her. She has an affinity for sneering at me at the supermarket, the bakery, and the post office. This is just the first time she’s bothered to speak, and the obvious is what she goes with?
Her eyes roll as she tips her head to the side, snorting. “Please. Does Kaleb even know you’re skulking around his hometown while he’s gone? It’s pretty pathetic, by the way, playing make believe in his house while he’s deployed.”
Alright. I’m not a morning person to begin with, and this bitch is chapping my ass before I’m even three sips into my coffee. Not what I would call a good idea. I draw in a long breath and let it out in an exaggerated sigh, making sure my exasperation gets across loud and clear.
“Being that I’m married to him, no, not that pathetic.” I keep my face neutral as possible as she tries to catch herself from letting the shock show on her face. Too late. I saw those eyes widen and her skin go pale. “Not as pathetic as say, trolling me at the farmers market to make sure I see you scowling at me, and driving by the house each night, really slow, to see if I’m there?” I raise my eyebrows, searching her face to see if she’d like to comment. She does the fish out of water thing for a moment before straightening her spine and backing away slowly in the direction of her car.
“Headed out for the day?” she asks cooly, as if I didn’t light her ass up a minute ago. “I wonder what Kaleb would have to say to you disappearing two days a week. Every soldier just loves to hear that their ‘wife’ has a side piece.” She gives me finger quotes before shoving her hands back in her pockets.
I busy myself with replacing the pump and my gas cap. “He’d tell you to stop stalking me and that he knows I go to school in the city,” I say incredulously with widened eyes, and it dawns on me how not-mature I am and it blows my mind that I’m a married person.
Cheyenne’s mouth falls open and she blinks at me before turning around with a huff and retreating to her car.
