Page 66 of The Loch Effect


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“My line of work can be pretty time consuming.” Flimsy but true.

“Still wouldn’t hurt to have a break now and then.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Doesn’t have to be so hard, either.”

My exhale settled close to exasperation. “What’s it like being a man? Are you coated in magic bubble wrap that keeps you from feeling pesky emotions?”

“I prefer to think of it as an emotion-repellent forcefield. That sounds more manly.”

I laughed, wishing such a thing existed.“‘It doesn’t have to be so hard,’”I echoed, doing my best to mimic his accent but only managing to sound like a tipsy pirate. The whisky deserved all the blame—the drink had already filled my chest with warmth and set me at ease.

Duncan’s smile was too knowing. “The forcefield that repels emotions also works on guilt.”

“It isn’t guilt,” I said automatically.

He called out the lie with a simple look.

My shoulders sagged, confirming everything. “It’s some guilt. I have a promotion on the line. I thought it was a sure thing, but now I don’t know.”

“If you take your holiday time, no promotion?”

I splayed my hands on the table. “Maybe.”

Lincoln’s threats might have been all talk, like a parent counting down from three with their unruly toddler, unsure what they would do when they reached one. Or…he could follow through and pull the promotion from me. There were no good options here. Empty threats would be bad enough, but acting on them? I couldn’t think of it.

Duncan watched me with that unreadable, impassive expression he had sometimes. It wasn’t unfriendly, but the close scrutiny unnerved me, like he’d found something in me even I didn’t see. Times like this, I really wanted to know what was going on in his head.

“You don’t think to find something better?”

Fear pricked at me just thinking of it.

“This is a really good company. We’re top in the industry. We get more work requests than we can handle.” I’d suddenly turned into a PR rep in my quest to justify my choices. “Lincoln is constantly being interviewed and profiled in tech magazines as this golden child success story.”

“Is that your boss?” he asked. I nodded. “And what does he tell them about all the hard workyouput in? He mentions the rest of your coworkers, yes?”

I slumped a little more, mentally scrolling through the articles I’d read. The rest of the team were never mentioned by name. We were all lumped in withLincoln and JBQ. I’d never thought much about it, but maybe that was just one more facet of the problem.

“So you’re breaking your back to build his reputation.” Duncan’s voice wasn’t unkind, but the truth of his words hit me right across the face.

Once, I’d thought I would try to build something for myself. Instead, I’d spent nearly ten years furthering my boss’s image. I’d been paid well enough I never thought to complain, especially after that dark year when I was flat broke, but was the money really the only thing I wanted?

What had happened to those dreams of being known for eye-catching websites and promo materials? What about my goal to create a business people sought out because they loved my work? I’d let those dreams get swallowed up by practicality. Safety. The sensible path of corporate work.

Duncan leaned against the table, and I mirrored his movement, closing the distance between us.

“I was once where you are. Worked my arse off for someone else—evenings, weekends, and all the rest—thinking it was good enough. But I reached a point where I wasn’t satisfied with ‘good enough’ anymore. That’s why I took the leap and started my own company. I had a rough first year of it and questioned it a hundred times. But I wouldn’t go back now. I couldn’t be satisfied with just good enough when I could have the best.”

I shifted in my seat again, replacing the slight distance between us. Just good enough wasn’t such a bad thing whenthe bestrisked the very real possibility ofthe worst. Sometimes when you step out into the void, all you do is fall.

“Not everyone can start their own company.” Sounded a little pathetic even to me.

“Why not?”

“Is that your motto?Why not?”

His mouth twitched in response. Where did he get his relentless confidence? And could he bottle up some reserves for me?

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