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ROMERO
“Look At Us” by Bryska
I watch Vicenta behind my sunglasses as I steer my Sabre 42 speed boat across the waters toward the island where we will meet Alvaro. Well, I will be meeting with him; Vicenta will be with her brother and nowhere within the Banderasbastardo’s presence.
Her laughter reaches me when we bounce over a large wave, and I make a mental note to take her out on the water more often just to hear that sound.
I can’t say when my feelings for her changed, but I think it was the moment she almost walked out on me. Knowing that she could have walked away, went back to Alvaro, or worse,Marío…it created a desperate feeling in my chest. The only other time I’ve felt that feeling was when Alvaro walked out on me.
I didn’t tell her the entire story. I couldn’t. She said I was an inspiration for my courage and all I wanted to do was shut her up somehow, make her swallow those words and never say them again. If I had the courage she believes, I would have truly told her about mine and Alvaro’s relationship. I would have told her that I came out to my parents, telling them that I was as in love with Alvaro as he was with me. I would have been honest about how I didn’t ask for his input when I did this, but that’s only one part of the reason he walked away from what he had.
The main reason he left the way he did was because he blamed me for his mother’s suicide. Reasoning that if I hadn’t said a word, she never would have been so ashamed of him that death was the better option.
No, I’m not courageous. I was recklessly in love and I promised myself I’d never again be hurt that way.Look at me now.
A week of listening to Vicenta drown in her wallows reminded me so much of myself. I wanted to soothe her, to comfort her, and the urge to do it built up with each sob-filled night. I held myself back from it though. I wanted her to burn inside, to never forget how he hurt her.
It’s self serving, but I wanted someone to feel what I’d felt and bear the burden alongside me. No, scratch that, I didn’t want just anyone to feel my pain, I wanted Vicenta to feel it. I want her to hate him with the same passion she hates his father.
So I let her cry. I let her burn and drown, waiting until the tears dried up and unconsciousness claimed her before picking her up and laying her in bed. I’d watch over her, praying she’d wake up to a heart that’s been emptied of Alvaro and ready to be filled with me.
I’ve somehow lost my way inside her. I have thousands of promises I want to give her, but how can I when I know she won’t believe me? Not now. But will she ever?
Will she one day be mine, or will we be stuck in make believe, forever fated to be pretend lovers?
She turns toward me, a beaming smile on her face. I wish I was good enough for her.
But I’m selfish and whether I deserve her or not, I’m going to have her. I know I will be able to get her brother from thatputobecause I have to. I promised her I would and I’ll be damned if I don’t keep my word to her. I see her love and devotion to her brother, and I once noted that it could be used as leverage for my own gain. How fucking right I was.
Only, the leverage I’m looking for is the beating organ inside her. Maybe one day, she’ll find a reason to love me, but that’ll only happen if I get her brother back first.
I want my month with her so I can make her want a lifetime with me.
Pretending will turn into reality.
Alvaro will either hand him over without difficulties, or he’ll die on this island. Fuck the neutral territory bullshit. When it comes to Vicenta, I’ll break every ethical code and cartel rule for her, and I’ll do it a thousand times over.
“You want to drive it?” I ask her as I slow so she can hear me.
Her eyes are hidden behind her own sunglasses, but I know that they’ve lit up with my offer.
“Really? I don’t know how to though.” She says that but still unbuckles herself and comes over to me excitedly.
I pull her down onto my lap, her beach dress blowing out around our legs. I kiss her shoulder, earning a sweet smile from her.
“You steer then,” I tell her, even though I never let go of the wheel. I want to be able to take over if something goes wrong, though knowing how well she taught herself to ride motorcycles, I have nothing but faith that she’ll learn quickly.
Still, I won’t risk her.
“Hold her steady,Diabla.” I point to the bow of the boat. “That is your guide. Wherever it’s pointing is where you’re going, so always keep your eyes there.”
She nods, her ass rubbing against my groin with her excited little bounces. “Okay, got it. Hit the throttle, baby!”
I laugh at her, kissing her cheek and slowly moving the throttle. As suspected, she steers perfectly, keeping her eyes focused on the bow of the boat as I yell for her to take us around the island where the docks are. I slow us down as we near, taking full control of the boat when her eyes land on her brother standing at the dock.
In person, Vicente is a striking guy. He kind of looks like an old Don who ruled in Puerto Vallarta, but not only is that man dead now, but he would be old enough to be this guy’s grandfather. Still, it’s eerie.
I pull to the dock where Javier and a couple of my other guards are waiting. Javier quickly ties off the boat but blocks Vicente when he tries to jump in.
