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“I can’t give you what you want. I just can’t.”
“How do you know what I want?” She pulls in her bottom lip with teeth. I hate that she has a hold on me. “Tell me what’s so wrong with fulfilling each other’s wants, Callan?”
Honestly, despite everything I’m telling her, I want this. I want her. I want to claim her, I want her to claim me. But I’m scared of the feeling that will probably conjure up from even a one night stand with her, because I feel them in the way I look at her. When I’m around her, Ifeelthings. Good things. I think my confusion and war comes from me not knowing how to manage those feelings. Who knew being so damn attracted to a woman could be such a hard thing. Who knew that when she found herself in my dealership that day, that we’d end up here, fighting over what is right and what is wrong. Acting like immature idiots instead of consenting adults who can manage taking care of each other’s sexual frustrations.
“God damnit, Sterling!” I rake my hands through my hair frustratingly, knowing I’m going to take this further than I expected.
“You want to know what’s wrong? It’s you!Youare what’s wrong with this whole thing!” Her facial expression contorts from almost seeming scared, to confused, to the soft demure I’m used to seeing. “I’ve tried time and time again to push you out of my mind,” I continue, “To push you away. But despite my best efforts, you keep evading my mind with those fucking blue eyes and your sweet fucking smile and the way you put me in my place with your sassy remarks. Do you have any idea how much fucking power you hold over me?” I suck in a deep breath trying to preserve any restraint I may have left.
“I’m trying to warn you, give you a head start to run and never look back. Why aren’t you running from the obvious red flags?” I lean in and hold her face in my hands, something I’ve been dying to do again. I can’t keep being an asshole to her just because. I’m such an idiot and this needs to stop. But I need to hear her answer, anything that tells me that I have permission to do what I want to do next. Because I have to have her.
She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes, her lashes feathering lightly on the tops of her cheeks. Then she whispers, “Red is my favorite color, remember?”
“Get in the car,” I demand feverishly. Every ounce of emotion I was feeling before is replaced with a heavy lust and the need to fuck this woman into oblivion, but she doesn’t move. She doesn't listen.
I pull my hand up to my mouth and rub my bottom lip with my thumb, looking back at her darkly.
“Now!” I command, as I open the door for her, and she doesn't waste another second.
twenty-one
Sterling
“Thisisit,Sterling.If we go here, there’s no going back. I am going to break my rules for you, but we can only do this once.” His voice hits low in my belly as the elevator doors close behind me.
To think that I was just here less than twenty-four hours ago fleeing from the embarrassment and pain he’d caused, practically telling me that he’d ruin me. But what he didn’t seem to grasp is that I didn’t care. My heart is erratic and I’m not sure if I should be nervous or excited, but I know for damn sure the thrill turns me on.
And I want this. Oh, how I want this. He said he’s a selfish lover, and sure he’s confusing as hell, but I just want to feel something again. Something other than what I’ve been feeling…unwanted and alone.
We walk further into his penthouse, the fiery sunset gleams through the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminating the room in rays of pink and yellow. I try to steady myself, needing to catch my breath, but my whole body lights up with a fire that needs to be tamed.
He steps in behind me, grabs me by the waist and spins me around. I stare up at him, his eyes trail up and down my body burning holes through my chest. I can’t control my breathing.
“Do you understand what you’re getting yourself into?” He takes a step back from me and swipes his thumb across his bottom lip.Only once.I think I can manage only once.
“Yes, sir,” I say with a shaky voice, and something changes in his eyes. The browns darken the greens, and his amber eyes fill with desire. I feel it in my cheeks, the heat from the arousal that spreads within me.
In one fell swoop, Callan pulls me in and up. Grabbing me by my ass, his fingers holding on tightly as he throws me over his shoulder and turns to his bedroom. He gently lays me down on the edge of his bed and closes the door behind us.
He walks over to his window and opens the curtains, making the late-afternoon sun fall over us, creating an ethereal effect. He runs a hand through his hair as he seductively saunters back over to the bed, and I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest with anticipation as he gets closer.
He leans over the bed, one arm on each side of me. His lips are so close to mine as he lowers his body down onto me. I can smell him; every perfect inch of his sculpted body exudes bourbon and wood. I feel myself tensing, wanting him closer and wanting his lips to find their home on mine. His dark curls fall effortlessly over his eyes and all I want to do is run my fingers through them, but my arms are pinned underneath him. Heat pulses from my cheeks and runs all the way down to my core.
“I have a confession,” he starts as he tugs gently on my leggings and slowly pulls them down until he gets them off. Goosebumps rise on my thighs, but heat is still radiating between them.
“Would you like to know what it is, Sterling?” he asks. The look in his eyes is carnal. Like I’m about to get devoured whether I like it or not.
I can’t get out a word, so a soft mumble escapes my mouth as I pull my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I have an obsession with wanting to fuck you,” he admits as he pulls his shirt over his head. I see every hard line of his abs trace down into his pants and the obvious outline of his cock becomes even more apparent as his length hardens. “And you’ve made it awfully hard to resist. You’re like the beautiful, bright Heaven to my deep, dark Hell, Sterling. I crave to dip into the purest parts of you and take you to the dark side with me.”
My breath is ragged hearing his words. “I think...I think I want that too,” I dare say as my voice is shaky and ragged. The ache between my thighs tightens with greed. Suddenly, all of the confidence I had mustered up before we came here is pretty much out the window. I know I want this, after all the teasing and arguing and not knowing what the hell either of us wants, this is it.Just once. But I won’t lie, I am nervous. Nervous it won’t be good, nervous it will be too good.
“You with me?” he asks, and I give him the most reassuring nod I can manage.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” He runs his hand up my bare thigh, his fingers catching every goosebump. My legs quiver at his touch as his grip tightens. “I think we’ve established that you drive me crazy. No matter what I do, all I think about is you and all I want to do is tie you up and fuck you for making me feel this way.” He moves his body in, his lips closer to mine.
The air in the room turns hot and I can hardly see straight. I’ve never felt so weak before. Everything in my body is shutting down and all I want to do is drown in Callan. Maybe he’s right, maybe this is a mistake. But all I can think as he traces circles on my stomach under my sweatshirt with his fingers istake me under.
