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An Eastern yellowjacket.
Then her father came to stay with her and went to the funeral and cried over her mother’s casket. He cried again when he had to leave because his wife didn’t know she existed, and that week, she learned that her mother never knew he had a wife. Her mother had assumed he was in the military, so she’d settled for seeing him four times a year, anticipating the day he could come home for good. It was something they’d talked about often, her father coming home for good.
When her father left, they sent her to a building with other kids where good things didn’t happen, like sugar cookies“just because”and squishy mud between her toes and her mother’s laugh. Then they sent her to live with a couple who didn’t have children, and she’d hear them arguing when they thought she was asleep. Most of their words were muffled, except for the night when her foster mother said, “It’s not the same. She didn’t come from my body.”
A little after that, her father found out she was in foster care and came for her. She still couldn’t live with him, but she went to live with her aunt.“Paradise,”her father had called it, and it was with its palm trees, colorful birds, and water like glass marbles. Even the air smelled different, and although her aunt’s house had to hold two adults and a skinny child, there was plenty of room when those three people genuinely loved each other.
So, she lived with her aunt.
Every month, her father came to see her.
Eventually, he stayed in Maui, and she never asked what had changed, too young and selfish to care. The dream had come true—her father came home for good.
Then, her uncle died.
Her father and aunt got sick.
In a blip, she was alone, and she never dealt with the loneliness until she blurted out to a university clinical psychology intern that she ruined things. That she ruined everything. Whatever she touched, rotted.
With the counselor’s help, she overcame, and she decided she wanted to do the same for others. Slowly, she healed, so when a drop-dead gorgeous, tattooed, and dark-haired Adonis walked into the restaurant where she worked, she gave him a chance.
On her third date with Curtis, she asked him if he was married, seeing as how he had to be away so often. He told her he would like to be, one day, if she was interested. That night, they made love for the first time, and he spent so much time inside her after that, Josiah didn’t come as a shock to either of them.
They got married.
Had a son.
She thought that maybe she didn’t ruin everything—until her husband died. Until, in her grief, she’d sometimes forget to make Josiah’s breakfast and lunch or pick him up from school. Until she would lie in bed staring at the ceiling while Theo wailed, and she wouldn’t immediately move to tend to him.
There were the days she didn’t want to get out of bed and contemplated asking the guys to take the boys and leave her somewhere in the middle of a South American jungle.
Instead, they helped her.
With them, she made it, and then they brought her Joel freakin’ Lattimore. With Joel came Curtis’ laugh, Curtis’ presence. Somehow, loving Joel brought everything back, even Curtis’ voice. Loving Joel reawakened everything that died inside her when Curtis did.
“I’ve been gone a lot more than usual this year, and it’s just you and Jojo down there,” Curtis said. “I know it’s hard, but how hard is it? Tell me the truth, Eesh.”
Ayeshashrugged and changed positions on the bed, lying on her belly. “I mean, it’s not necessarily easy, but Josiah’s the most wonderful son a mother could ask for. The worst part, honestly, is not having you here. I miss you, Curtis. I miss you so much.”
A soft smile pulled at his mouth, and she got the distinct feeling something was bothering him, but he’d never tell. That was Curtis—Mr. Fix It. He never wanted her to worry about anything he had the power to resolve, so if it was something he didn’t think was worth sharing, she’d trust him.
“Thinking about you down there alone with him, without me,” he sighed, “I don’t sleep sometimes. Neither of us had a solid family foundation at the start of our lives, so when I started thinking about my future and a wife and children, I always had that worry, you know? Will she be good to them?”A trace of emotion deepened his voice. “But I know, as long as you’re his mother, Josiah will be the happiest, smartest, and most wonderful kid in the world.”
She dabbed her fingertips at the corner of her left eye. “What if we end up with another one?”
“Another one? I did put in some work when I was down there last.” He searched her face as if, on it, he’d be able to read the secret she was holding onto until she was in his arms again.
She could already hear the happiness that would enter his voice once she told him. Plus, when he came home, the guys would have one of their longest breaks in years. He’d be there for the entire pregnancy and their future little one’s birth.
It was perfect timing.
“Eesh, if we have a million kids, I trust that you, as my wife, will be the best mother they could ever hope for.”
He’d had so much faith in her.
So much misplaced faith.
A car headed in her direction, but she didn’t look up, not that she needed to. Their property was locked down like a secret government facility.
