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The next second, he felt her hands on his face, her lips on his forehead. She shook so much, it felt like the earth moved.
“Eesh, you have to…you have to make sure. Make sure the boys know.”
He couldn’t make out her words, and it felt like hands were all over him, people chattering and moving swiftly, with Ayesha’s cries woven between the commotion.
“Make sure…the baby knows, Ayesha. I love them. I…love them. With everything…in me…I love…them.”
“Joel, don’t do this.”
“Doesn’t seem…like I have…much of…a choice.”
Her touch disappeared.
Her screams resumed.
Then he felt himself being hoisted.
“Ay…esha,” he called. “I…love…you. I…love…you. And, baby…I’m…so…sorry.”
CHAPTER44
Ayesha braced herself before she entered the hospital room.
Nothing changed.
Day after day, they expected her to take solace in the word “stable,” but it was like they didn’t understand. The other half of her heart lay in their I.C.U. hospital bed, so stable wouldn’t fucking cut it.
She opened the door, her head down.
After bolstering herself with a breath, she looked up, and it never got easier. There were so many machines, so many tubes. It was hard to see him like this, to know that if she talked to him, he couldn’t respond. If she squeezed his hand, he couldn’t squeeze back. It was a more favorable scenario than what had happened to Curtis, but it was so damn hard to see him like this.
“In the little houses, the tenant people sifted their belongings and the belongings of their fathers and of their grandfathers. Picked over their possessions for the journey to the west.”
Adrían, who’d only left the I.C.U. a week ago, sat in a chair at Joel’s bedside, his IV pole beside him.
“Adrían?”
He looked up and smiled, a book in one hand. “Olá, querida.”
She entered the room, and he started to fetch a chair for her, but she told him to stay seated. She’d only spent a week in the hospital; most of her recovery was mental, assisted by twice-per-week intensive therapy sessions. Luckily, despite Lavigne’s blows, she never fractured any bones in her face.
In the meantime, she and the boys were staying in a nearby hotel, and the boys only slept if she was in bed with them. Even then, they slept in fits and starts, sometimes waking up in the middle of searching for Joel in their dreams. She couldn’t be strong for them, so she was grateful that Joel’s parents had accompanied her.
The rest of the team visited often.
She’d urged them to go home and take care of their families, but they checked in every day. However, she knew they would all come back if Joel wasn’t awake in the next couple of days, even though it was only a short train ride to the hospital.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, setting her chair next to Adrían’s.
He raised the book. “Reading. We’re onThe Grapes of Wrath.When we were both in I.C.U., I read to him once I was able, so I didn’t want to break the tradition. I think he would prefer Tom Clancy or something, but I couldn’t find any here.”
“He’s going to be pissed you’re taking such good care of him.”
Adrían grinned. “Oh, I know. But how are you, querida?”
“Doing really well, to be honest. Therapy has been more than helpful. What about you?”
“I’m on hospital-grade pain medication.”
