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She froze. “It’s not the same—”
“I know.” He squeezed her ass, and the sensation of touching her was another thing he wished he could harvest and inject. “You love Big Daddy so much more.”
She nudged him, bent as if getting ready to kiss him, and nipped his bottom lip. Apparently, near-death experiences, pain, and painkillers didn’t hinder his erections.
“It’s fine, Ayesha,” he continued. “So, you care about him. Then there’s the L word you might have used, but what you and I have isn’t shaky. It’s not breakable. As long as the baby doesn’t come out looking like Adrían, we’ll be fine.”
She tried to hold in her laughter and failed, and he loved seeing her like this. Having her in his life was a blessing in so many ways, but there were days he couldn’t believe he was the one she chose to marry. The one she trusted to be the father of her children. She saw him as someone worthy of being taken into her once-shattered heart, and he would never be able to explain precisely how much that had changed him.
“How are you feeling, really?” He stroked her hip, bunching and releasing the fabric of the dress. “How’s therapy?”
“Effective.”
“And the nightmares?”
“Few and far between.”
“Are you lying to me?”
She gave him a real kiss, and although it was a light brush of her lips, his blood stirred. “I’m not lying to you,” she reassured him. “I’m feeling like myself again. I don’t look over my shoulder or see him in my dreams as much as I used to. I’m healing, Joel. I’ve even started thinking about…you know…again.”
“What’s ‘you know’?”
“Apparently, ‘Big Daddy.’” She snickered. “You know what’s funny? Curtis used to make that ‘Big Daddy’ joke. I think I have a type.”
“Swarthy? Handsome? Hilarious?”
“Curtis was all those things.”
“I didn’t mean him.”
“Adrían, then?”
He reached for his chest. “I think I feel the exit wound opening up.”
“Joel, your heart could fall out, and you’d wake up and put it back in the minute you hear anything close to Adrían or Delgano.”
“Hell, yes. I can hear him now. ‘Querida, I’m so sorry for your loss. Come, let me hold you. I’m here for you. Put your head on my shoulder.’ Then he’d toss in some Portuguese, lowering onto one knee as they lower my casket into the ground.”
She laughed. “Oh? That’s all he’d need to woo me? A little Portuguese?”
“Ayesha,mi sono innamorato di te. Sono pazzo di te. Sei la cosa più bella che mi sia mai capitata. Resta con me per sempre.”
Her blinks slowed.
Her breaths lengthened.
“See?” He motioned to her. “Even my Italian, which would make my mother cringe, can make you swoon.”
“That’s not fair. Those words are coming from your mouth.” She passed her fingers through his hair. “Do you know how special you are to me? God, Joel. I’m surprised I ever stop smiling. What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“Loved me the right way,” he said.
Their lips brushed.
Then his body picked up on how warm she felt against him, the curve of her figure and her breasts pressed into his side. He thought about how her sitting in that chair at their wedding wouldn’t be the last image he had of her. He thought about how she looked on the beach in Malibu, that night in Maui when Theo was sick, at Gage and Tayler’s wedding, in Fiji, and right now, in front of him.
“Eesh?”
