Page 61 of Requiem for Love


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I’m afraid you might have lied to me, which scares me more than everything else. For the first time, I found myself in a place where I could fail. Where I could be imperfect and selfish and still be loved. I didn’t even have that with Joel.

You are the anchor. I love everyone, but among all of us, you’re my anchor.

Tell me, is it still the same?

If I fuck up, will you still care about me?”

Yet, she didn’t try.

Instead, she masked it as jealousy.

She and Dmitri got into the waiting car, and he told someone from the staff at the house that they were on their way home and what he would like them to prepare for lunch. Once he finished the call, she turned to him.

“Now, will you tell me what’s going on?” She laughed, and it sounded even more nervous than she felt. “You’re scaring me, D.”

He stared at her face and then looked down at his phone. She watched as he scrolled, darting a look at her every so often before handing her the device.

She read the screen.

And her heart stopped.

Immediately, as if it had been lying in wait, her dream came back to her—her, the twin boys, crying over a casket. Them asking her why their father had left them.

Stupid woman.

This, she’dneverconsidered.

“Did you…just find out?” she asked.

“I found out the same day we learned you were pregnant. The baby…well,babiesis why I waited to say something.”

There was one person she wanted to talk to. The first person she always went to. But she’d fucked that up.

“Are you upset?” he asked.

She tore her gaze from the phone screen. “Upset? About what? I’m upset that…that you have to deal with this. I’m upset that this is…growing inside you. I know this has nothing to do with it, but I hate that it happened to such a good person.”

“Things won’t be perfect anymore.”

“Dmitri—”

“Sydney, you said yourself that your ex-husband was essentially perfect. Yet, you still served him divorce papers. This,” he gestured to the phone, “changes things.

“I know. I know.” She closed her eyes, all the taste gone from her mouth. “But it doesn’t mean I’ll run.”

“Because you’re pregnant.”

She felt tears trying to build, the whites of her eyes burning, but she forced them back. Ending the pregnancy without depleting her tear ducts would be an impressive feat.

“Even if I wasn’t pregnant,” she met his eyes, “I wouldn’t run from this. This might not be the smartest thing to say to your current boyfriend, but my divorce was difficult. Regardless of what I showed, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It was the hardest I’ve ever failed. I know what I lost, and ever since, it’s made me more aware of the value of the people I’m lucky enough to call friends. You, Dmitri, tick me off. You don’t give me what I want. You tell me exactly what’s on your mind. The thing you say most? ‘Syd, how will that help you?’ Dmitri, you care about me enough to tell me no. I treasure that. So, babies or not, I would stay by your side.”

He stared at her, brows narrowed.

“But back to you,” she said. “What’s the treatment plan?”

He cleared his throat. “Aggressive.”

“Are you afraid?”

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