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"It isn't," he disagreed, barely louder than a whisper. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, and I only realised I was waiting for his wings to enfold me too when I remembered, with a sick jolt, that they'd been severed from him.
I dove for the edge of the bed, getting to the bucket barely a moment before more bile burned up my throat. This wave passed quicker than the others, with Wane rubbing my back and his soul wrapping around mine.
"I said all those awful things to your mate," he murmured, his voice husky and broken from years of screaming. "And he just accepted them and—and he freed me."
"Cronus ordered him to," I rasped, reaching for a half empty bottle of water on the bedside table. I couldn't even say who'd brought it; I'd been so out of it since I passed out in Wynvail's bed yesterday.
"No," Wane disagreed softly, pulling me back to the bed and settling my head on his chest when I stopped throwing up. "Didn't you hear what he said? His self-preservation instincts kicked in. He could have fought it. But he chose to lead you to me in that house, and let you free me, even knowing he would—"
"Die," I finished, guttural and low.
Wane held me closer to him, ducking to press a long kiss to the top of my head, his warmth seeping into my icy skin. "He was a good person, and I couldn't see past his creation to realise that until it was too late. And I can't tell him I'm sorry, but I can tellyou,and you deserve that apology, Haley."
"He's a dick," I muttered, refusing to use the past tense. "He probably wouldn't accept your apology anyway. But I'm not mad at you, Wane. I'm—I don't feel anything."
"You're in shock," he corrected, which made a lot of sense. "And we're all going to be here for you when it wears off."
Not all of them.
"I didn't even like him," I muttered. "I wanted to kill him myself. Who should I care that he's gone?"
"Because he's your mate, and he might have been a dick, but you're a good mate. Your heart is so big."
"My heart's a dick, too." How dare it make me fall for a villain? "I wish I could cut it out."
Wane ran gentle fingers over my hair.1"Please don't hurt your heart, itzaia. I'm very attached to it."
My eyes were hot, tears burning them, and a lump the size of a golf ball formed in my throat. I'd been desperate to hear that name for so long, desperate to hearhim,his voice, to feel him against me, his arms around me.
No,thiswas more than I dared to dream of.
"What do you need?" I asked, pushing off his chest and scrubbing my face free of tears. "What can I do to make this easier for you? And don't try to bullshit me that you're fine. You've been locked up and tortured for a century; this is a huge adjustment for you. So tell me what I can do."
"You can eat that sandwich," he replied hesitantly, his eyes on the grey sheets of Wynvail's bed under us. Like he was shy to ask. Or afraid. Embarrassed? Ugh, my chest being a lump of ice was starting to piss me off; I needed to feel his emotions so I could understand him and take better care of my mate.
"What?" I asked, and cleared my throat when it came out thick.
Wane flicked a tentative glance at me, shadows of suffering cutting into his cheeks, making him far more gaunt than he'd ever been before. I still saw the shape of my Wane in him, but it was like Cronus had chiselled away any softness. "You're in pain, and that overrides my pain. Mate thing," he added when I began to argue. "I can't focus on myself when you're tormented. And you haven't eaten anything in two days, Haley."
Shit, it had been two days?
"Soplease,eat the sandwich," he finished.
When he asked so sweetly, how could I deny him? I propped my back against the cushions, reaching for the plate. I slid a sly look at him at the last minute and broke the sandwich in half.2"If I'm eating, so are you, zivai."
His eyelids fluttered, lashes casting deep shadows on his gaunt cheeks. "Fine," he sighed, meeting my sly smile with one of his own.
When he took the sandwich too easily, biting into it, I narrowed a stare on him. "You knew I'd bargain, didn't you?"
"I knew it was a possibility," he agreed, a light entering his eyes that made me want to sob like a baby.
I ate my sandwich in slow, gradual bites so I didn't throw it up. Wane and I shared the rest of the water between us, both struggling but too stubborn to admit defeat. He thought Cronus had broken him? When he could speak and smile and look at me like that?
"The muffin is a step too far," I said after a long moment, the two of us sharing a comfortable silence. We might have been apart for years, but our bond had been whole and unbroken this whole time. He'd never once forgotten me.
He laid another kiss on my forehead and moved the tray off the bed, lifting his arm to let me cuddle close.
"Thank you for eating," he murmured, brushing a soft touch down my cheek with a scarred knuckle.
