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Sure, he could’ve asked me out like any other man would. But Theo is Theo, and I’m me. It worked out the way it should’ve.
“I…” I wet my lips. Theo’s eyes are drawn there, and I stop. I don’t mean to punish him—I just want the butterflies in my belly to quit distracting me. “I’m glad you did it.”
“The day after—” he starts.
“I remember.” I don’t want to get lost in our past. I need to know what happened while I slept, what he did behind my back. “Was it you, the reason my door had been unlocked so many times?”
“Yes.”
“I hadn’t forgotten to lock it at night. Or after my jog that weekend.”
“No. That was me.” His raw honesty melts me despite myself. “I jacked off in your shower while you were out running. That was the first time I broke in here.”
Much to my surprise, my resentment lessens. I’m grateful for him not trying to hide the truth or come up with half-lies. Theo doesn’t sugarcoat any of it.
I’m sure he knows what it looks like.
Insane. Unhinged. Over the top possessive.Criminal.
And yet he doesn’t try to save his ass. He tells me everything.
And heck, I must be a little unhinged, too, to sit here and have this adult conversation about it without freaking out. Either that or the years of observing and assisting operations have ingrained in me the quality of being calm under duress.
Maybe it’s both.
One thing I’m curious about is, “Have you done this before? With anyone else?”
“No one else.” He raises his hand again, about to touch my knee. My eyes narrow and he drops it, frustration having him wrinkle the sheets in a fist. “The things I’ve done to you…”
Theo’s sigh worries me, and I brace myself for what’s to come. “Say it.”
“I walked into your bedroom at night,” he says, his voice clinical, probably to shield himself from how wrong he’s been. “Numerous times. I made you come. I came too. On you. In your mouth.”
As the past few weeks click together, my soul takes a serious hit. The pain echoes through my body over and over, a punch in the chest, in the gut, in my ribs. Everywhere.
I’m shaking, hugging my knees.
“I would’ve let you.” I tilt my head, biting my lip to keep the sob inside. “I would’ve let you come here at night. Would’ve let you do anything you wanted. Maybe not right away, but that wasn’t on you to decide. You just had to ask, Theo. You. Had. To. Ask.”
I don’t add anything about Dr. Fox’s former patients. What Theo did wasn’t anything like it. I genuinely would’ve said yes to everything if we had this conversation earlier.Muchearlier.
“I know, and I apologize. It’s not enough, but it’s all I have.” For the first time, Theo casts his eyes to his lap. His shoulders rise and fall. Then he finds my eyes again. “I lose it when it comes to you, Prue. I should’ve done better. And I didn’t.”
In my head, I go somewhere else.
I travel to those moments we spent together on the bench outside work. To when he took my virginity, touched my body and soul like no one ever had. To our mornings and evenings, to how he was my protector when no one else in the coffee shop offered to help.
There’s an abundance of good in him.
I’ll forgive him too.
Just not now.
“I need you to leave, Theo.”
“Prue, you can’t do this.” Not waiting for my reply, he leans on his knees, cupping my cheeks, his grip steely and commanding me to listen to him. “We were meant to be together. We were put on this depressing, disappointing, and sometimes wonderful planet to find each other. To love each other.”
He presses his forehead to mine, black eyes ensnaring me in his sincere gaze. “I’m screwed up. I’ve never been that person. I am now because of how much I need you.”
