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How Camille found magical elves to work for her during the holidays, and how we never saw a whisper of them dropping food off or setting it up, made me wonder how much money was involved. Her side of the family was expected this afternoon.
“I’m sorry we’ll be missing everyone this time around,” Rob continued.
Camille squeezed her son’s face, and pulled him closer to her on the couch. “Not to worry. We’ll relay your good news!”
Learning my lesson from earlier, I kept quiet. There was no need to correct Camille. Officially, I hadn’t saidyesyet. For a second, I thought about pulling the ring off and handing it back to her with a quick, “No thanks, not for me.” But it was Christmas. These were people Rob loved. These were people who loved Rob.
Audrey stood up and stretched, her teeny baby bump only slightly noticeable. “I need a nap!” she exclaimed. “Let’s go lie down for a bit, Stephen.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Stephen said. “Mom, thanks for everything. Maybe wake us up, if it’s not too much of a hassle, a bit before dinner?”
“Of course, go lie down, you two. If you can’t laze around on Christmas, when can you?” she replied.
I couldn’t recall ever having seen Camille laze around, not even at the cottage on the Sunday afternoon of a long weekend. Even then, she would be buzzing about in her garden or making drinks or canoeing across the bay their cottage faced to pay a visit to one of the other mansions-slash-cottages in their vicinity.
After Audrey and Stephen had left, I said to Rob, “We’d better get moving.”
I stood up, happy to be headed in some direction besides drunker and deeper in the plushy goodness of Camille’s ridiculously expensive couch. “My mother will start calling soon. She’ll have convinced herself that we’ve crashed the car or slipped into a ditch if we’re too, too late.”
“I’m sure she’s not expectingyouto be on time, Kelly.” Camille laughed. “She must know you at least a little bit. I’m not sure you’re ever on time.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” I said. “Maybe it’ll be a New Year’s resolution come early: Kelly Haggerty will be absolutely, to the second, on time.”
“I have exactly the thing to help with that,” Camille said. “I was going to save it for your engagement party, but knowing you, there won’t be an engagement party, so I hope you like it.”
Camille opened one of the baroque-style side tables in the living room, retrieved another small box, and handed it to me. At this point, I was dreading the moment—small boxes seemed to contain terrifying pieces of jewelry. But there was no need for me to be afraid: inside was an exquisite vintage Cartier watch.
“This was the first piece that I bought with my own money,” she said. “It’s not my style any longer, but I thought you’d like it. It will match your ring perfectly. They’re both from the same period, early 1910s art deco.”
“Camille,” I said, honestly breathless, “it’s beautiful. I love it.”
“Good,” she said. “It keeps very good time. No excuse now for you to be late.”
“New Year’s resolution, here I come,” I said, securing the watch around my wrist.
It was delicate with a simple black onyx face, and it was gorgeous.
“I’ll get the haul down here into the car if you can get us sorted upstairs,” Rob said. “Don’t forget my toothbrush.”
“I won’t forget your toothbrush, I promise.” Turning to Arthur, I said, “Thank you both for a lovely Christmas. Dinner and breakfast were delicious, and you are so generous, I almost don’t know what to say.”
“Thank you works,” Arthur said as he wrapped his arms around me in an embrace that was stronger than I had expected. “Lovely to have you as always, my dear.”
My eyes welled a little as I retreated upstairs. Teamwork and trust. That was what Rob believed we had together. He thought of us as equal partners working together to build something. And a life with Rob would be a good one, better than I deserved.
I had betrayed him and everything he thought we were with the growing pit in my stomach. There is a moment when you are traveling, in the instant before you realize you are hopelessly and truly lost, when you lose all sense of the right direction. That feeling was pervading my relationship and my life these days. I couldn’t seem to escape feeling like I’d taken two wrong turns, and there was no hope of finding my way back. But the question was, back to what? Back to living by myself in some shitty basement apartment? That seemed awful, lonely. Forward to Garrett? That was a fantasy, and it should stay that way. But today made it very apparent that I wasn’t just betraying myself, but Rob too—I was the square peg in the round hole, not him. Not his family. Me. And it wasn’t fair to either of us. I was finally admitting it: we didn’t want the same things. Love conquers all, that’s what women are always told. But does it? Can it?
After packing our bags, I tidied the guest room as best I could. There was no way I could make the bed as neatly as it had been when we arrived. Concentrating on pulling the corners tight, I didn’t hear Camille come into the room. When I looked up, she was there in the doorway, watching me blow my bangs out of my face, huffing as I plumped the last pillow.
“There’s no need, Kelly,” she said. “The maid will strip the bed next week. You could have just left it.”
“Camille, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“My father didn’t approve of Arthur when I first introduced them. At the time, he had no idea of how successful my husband would become. His reaction, based on his wanting the best for me, made me feel ashamed to love Arthur. I was ashamed of how much I wanted to build a life for him, make a family with him. Almost from the moment I met my husband, I knew my life would not be complete without him. He’s worked hard professionally to give me the kind of life my father expected. I respect him for that, but I’ve always regretted the fact that us choosing each other forced him into that position. I have never in my life wanted to diminish my husband. I always knew that wherever he led us, we would make it work. Money or no money.
“If Robert isn’t what you want—if this family isn’t something you can wholly become a part of—please, love him enough to make that decision now and not later, when it will hurt forever. You’re both young enough to let each other go without permanent damage.”
Too stunned to move or even to respond properly, I felt scolded. Butseen. “I love Rob,” I said.
