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“I need to have a conversation with Charlee.” Ace clenched his hands.
“Sounds like you should have had one already, Ace,” Dara said.
“Let me by.” Ace would never push her aside, but he might just pick her up and set her carefully out of his way. “Please.”
“Your funeral.” Dara stepped close to Jack as she let Ace pass.
He pushed his way through the crowd, trying to find Charlee. He searched the crowd, checked all the bathrooms then started on the bedrooms. He’d knock, and if there was no response, he opened the doors and peeked inside.
Where could she have gone? Did she get a ride home?
Damn.He’d more than screwed up.
He knocked on the last door in the hallway and thought he heard a murmured response. He knocked again.
“Give me a moment and I’ll be right out.” Charlee’s voice.
Ace’s heart beat faster. He grasped the doorknob and hesitated before he opened the door.
Charlee was headed toward the door but stopped. His heart ached as he saw mascara tracks down her cheeks, and her eyes were red.
He felt helpless. He’d totally screwed up and he’d hurt her.
“I’m sorry.” The words were absolutely useless, but he said them anyway. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You did.” Her voice was cold. “If you would have let me know the first time I mentioned kids, then there wouldn’t be a problem. No problem at all, because I wouldn’t have let you in. But you didn’t say anything.”
“You’re right.” He looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry.”
“I want to go home.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’d rather not ride home with you, but since I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s time here, I need to count on you. Again.”
He dragged his hand down his face. “Can we talk about it?”
She gave him an incredulous look. “Nowyou want to talk about it? When it doesn’t matter anymore?”
He sat on the edge of the bed. She continued to stand and glare at him, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Maybe I shouldn’t be so mad,” she said. “Maybe I should have expected it. After all, I certainly can pick them.”
“Please don’t lump me in with that bastard, Charlee.” He spoke quietly. “I screwed up, but I don’t deserve that.”
“That wasn’t how I meant it.” Charlee sighed and sat on the opposite end of the bed. “But you’re right. You don’t deserve that.”
“Charlee…” His voice trailed off for a moment. “I’m scared to death to have kids. All my life I’ve watched what my parents and friends’ parents have done and gone through. I’ve had to follow in my big brothers’ footsteps since I was a toddler. I’ve looked up to them. But I’ve never thought I could be as good as them.”
He braced his arms on his thighs and hung his head. “I’m the younger brother who never takes anything serious. I’ve gotten into mischief more times than not, and I never accomplished all the things my brothers did. Good grades, athletes in school and in rodeo, and big successful ranches.” He shrugged. “I’m just who I am and I’ll never be like them.”
Charlee rested her hand on his arm and he raised his head to look at her.
“I get that, Ace, I really do.” She looked straight ahead, like she was lost in thought. “My sister Jo was the most beautiful child who grew into an incredibly gorgeous woman. She was a sought-after model before she left her modeling career and came back to Prescott to start her own business.”
Charlee sighed before she continued. “I always felt in her shadow. She never did anything to make me feel that way. She’s always been loving and sweet and herself. But it was my perception of things. She was gorgeous, talented, intelligent, and a great businesswoman. She was everything I wanted to be.”
Ace took her hand in his. “You are those things, Charlee. But more importantly, you areyou.Who you aremeantto be.”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “One of the things I’ve wanted to be is a mom. I can’t be a mom if I stay with you.”
The way it felt to hear her say that, she might as well have driven a stake through his heart.
