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“That’s what she said,” I say with a smirk, gesturing for her to step back.
Hattie quirks a brow. “Really? That’s not what I hear, darlin’…”
I glance towards Ollie who is happily walking along a fallen log like it’s a balance beam, making sure she’s out of earshot. Then I turn back to Hattie, holding her gaze.
“What did I tell you about me and challenges, Mac?” I say, voice pitched low. “Are you gonna make me prove it right here and now? Because I’ll fucking do it and you know it.” Hattie actually gasps softly, and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t actually look intrigued by the idea for a second before she grins and tosses a handful of snow at my face.When had the little devil picked that up?I sputter in surprise, wiping the snow out of my scruff that’s somewhere between stubble and an actual beard while she giggles.
“Wouldn’t want you to get frostbite, Shep.” I give her a look that promises payback but she only laughs harder. “Come on, get to chopping. It’s as cold as a witch’s titty out here.”
I bark out a laugh, but say, “yes ma’am” and take off my coat, shoving it at Hattie. She takes it and Ollie skips over to watch the show. I take the tree down in a few swings, admittedly showing off a bit.
Ollie yells “Timber!” and the tree falls, a cloud of snow puffing up where it collapses. We got a light dusting last night, but it’s supposed to really hit in a few days. I’ve already gotten Hattie’s place all stocked up, checked her snow tires, and brought her a truck load of firewood, so she should be all set for her first real snow.
We get the tree in the truck, head home, and start the decorating. I keep watching Hattie from the corner of my eye as she helps Ollie put on lights and ornaments, or as the two of them direct me on where to put the ones near the top where they can’t reach. She seems happy, a warm smile on her face the whole time, laughing lightly. I wonder when the last time she did any of this was. It has to be years, decades probably. We order in from a little Italian place around the corner from the house for an early dinner, all of us somehow ravenous from all the decorating, and eat in the living room by the tree while we watch all threeThe Santa Clausemovies. It’s…well, fuck, it’s damn near perfect.
“So…” I say quietly, stroking Ollie’s hair where she’s passed out on the couch between Hattie and me. She made it through about two and a half movies before she tapped out.
“So what?”
“Are your feelings towards Christmas any different yet?”
She looks at the tree, the hint of a soft smile curling her lips. “Jury’s still out, but your ace in the hole here is sure helpin’ to tip the scales.” She glances down at Ollie, gently patting the girl’s feet where they rest in her lap.
“I never promised to play fair, just that I play to win.”
“Well, there are still twenty-one days left before Christmas. Plenty of time for December to strike.” She glances at her watch. “I better get goin’.” I nod and we both ease out from under Ollie. I tuck a thick blanket around her and brush the hair back from her face, my throat tightening a bit when I realize how much older she's looking even since last Christmas. I know everyone says it, but damn it, time really does fly by in the blink of an eye.
I lean down and give Ollie a kiss on the forehead and walk Hattie to the door.
“Well, even if it doesn’t change the way you feel about the holiday, I’m really glad you joined us today. It was nice.”
“I am too. And it was. I'd give this a solid 9/10 for my first Christmas-related activity.”
"Just a 9?" I ask, pretending to be offended.
"I know you well enough to know that I have to leave you something to aspire to." We both grin.
"You aren't wrong."
We pause by the door and when she turns towards me and lifts her face up to look at me, that shift happens again, just like on the couch that day. That heavy electricity hanging in the air around us, a thick, palpable anticipation that makes my heart race. She has to feel it too, right? It can’t just be me. Her chest rises and falls in quick, shallow bursts and I think she most definitely does.
The question is, do we do anything about it?
Is itjustphysical for her? Would something just physical between us be a terrible idea? As I glance down at her lips, seeing her tongue slowly trace along the bottom one, as if in invitation, I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever fucking had. Then I think of how messy that could get, how upset Ollie would be if something did happen between us and then we couldn’t get back to being friends afterwards—how upsetI’dbe if that happened.
Regardless of how badly I want her, and dear God do I want her, I care about her too much to risk losing her friendship. It’s been a quick thing, but I already feel closer to her than I have to anyone in a long time. I’m close with my teammates, like brothers, but this is different. I can’t risk not having Hattie in my life for one night of fun—no matter how fucking fun it might be.
A tiny voice whispers,but what if it wasn’t just one night. What if she wants more?
She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to date a player.
But that was before, when she thought you were just a manwhore like Rizzo, the whisper comes again. That stupid fucking voice needs to chill out.
I don’t know if she’d still be against dating someone on the team or not. It may be too complicated for her to do that, to date someone where she works. She may not evenwantto date anyone at all right now. She’d told me a bit about her last relationship and I wouldn’t blame her if she swore off men all together after that piece of work. It’s a good thing the fucker lives halfway across the country. Someone needs to teach him how women should be treated and I’d love to volunteer for that job.
With a Herculean effort, I take a small step backwards and make the smart decision: No. It’s too risky. I don’t know for sure how she feels and I’m not going to push it, not yet anyway. Before my resolve slips, I open the front door. We both turn to look out and freeze: a thick blanket of snow covers everything.When the fuck had this happened?Sometime between getting dinner and the end of the last movie, the sky had absolutely opened up, nearly a full-on snowstorm.
“Oh my God,” she whispers. “I’ve never seen so much snow!” She rushes out onto the porch and down a couple of the steps, boots crunching on the thick layer of snow that's already accumulated there. She holds her hands out and lifts her face upward, laughing as fat flakes land on her nose and cheeks. It’s still coming down steadily and doesn’t look like it’s going to stop anytime soon.
