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“Care to dance, Mac? I promise to be on my best behavior,” Rizzo says, one hand over his heart, one in the air like he’s taking an oath or something. I huff out a laugh. I glance over to see Nat dancing with Nowski, so I shrug.
“Sure, why not?”
So, we dance and then I dance with Jackson, then Bobby, then Jules. All the while, Connor dances with Emery. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. I’m fine.But then Goose yells, “kiss!” and I realize that they’re staring at Connor and Emery, who have managed to dance their way under a hanging sprig of mistletoe, and suddenly I’m not fine anymore. I'm so far from fine, I'm not even in the same time zone anymore.
Emery laughs and shrugs, giving Connor a look that sayswell, I guess we have to. His eyes land on me just as Emery’s lips meet his, her palm resting on his cheek. My eyes fly wide and my hand flies to my necklace, gripping the diamond so tightly it cuts into my fingertips. I feel like there’s something stuck in my throat, like when you try to swallow one of those giant multi-vitamins and it gets caught. I feel the color drain from my face as the entire place erupts in cheers and Connor’s eyes pull away from mine, and I think I might puke. I mutter something to Jules about needing some air and I slip away from the crowd, sprinting to the bathroom.
I hide in a stall for longer than I care to admit, trying to get a grip on my emotions. Why the hell am I so upset? I assured Kasey that Connor and I were just friends, I practicallytoldher to set Connor up with Emery. I can’t be upset about it now. But seeing her kiss him, seeing him kiss her back? It felt like a knife to the chest. It’s stupid and illogical and my own fault for not saying anything to Connor about how I felt before, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“Hattie?” Nat asks softly, her voice echoing through the large room.
“In here,” I sigh, opening the stall door and walking out to meet her, my heels clicking loudly against the marble floor.
“You alright?” she asks, studying me as I lean heavily against the counter where several crystal bowl-shaped sinks sit at intervals.
“Totally fine, why wouldn’t I be?” She gives me anoh come onlook and I let out a rough exhale. “Not really, no. But, it is what it is.” She purses her lips and I quickly shift the conversation before she can ask any follow up questions. “And what about you and Rizz?”
She crosses her arms over her chest stubbornly and scowls. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I laugh at that, lightly at first, but it soon becomes a full on belly laugh, the kind that makes your sides hurt and you think you might pee your pants a little. Nat joins and soon we’re both wiping tears from our eyes.
“My God, we’re a pair, aren’t we?”
“Shit, my mascara,” she says between gasps, eyeing the mirror, “I wonder if Rizz would like to fuck a racoon this evening.”
“Ya know, I wouldn’t put it past him,” I say, making us both laugh harder.
We eventually settle down, fix Nat’s mascara, and head back into the ballroom. I actually feel a little better. Not good, but better. We head to the bar and order drinks, and Connor steps up beside me.
“Mac, can I—”
“Bobby! You owe me a dance!” I call. I give Connor an apologetic look as I rush over towards Bobby, dragging him onto the dance floor.
Connor tries to catch my eye several more times through the evening, but I always manage to find someone else that needs my attention, or suddenly realize my glass is empty or someone else’s is, so I go to grab refills, or I pretend to want to check out the scenery from the patio. It’s cold as all get out on the patio, but I’d rather freeze my ass off—literally—than be around Emery and Connor while they laugh and flirt and Emery can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. I know I’m not being fair, but I honestly don’t know what to say to Connor right now. I might just blurt out everything that I’d wanted to tell him earlier. I might throw my drink in his face. I might cry.
So, avoiding him at all costs is really the best choice until I can wrap my head around everything. The night slowly shifts from elegant holiday party to hockey players at the club. The lights go low and the dance floor lights up with spotlight and strobe lights, the DJ kicking the music up a notch. A lot of people take this as the cue to make their exit and I decide to join them. I tell Bobby good night, try and fail to find Nat, and don’t even say goodbye to Connor. I just head towards the door with one last wistful glance at him as he laughs with the guys, head thrown back and looking carefree and gorgeous…and Emery staring at him like he hung the moon.
“You leaving?” Rizzo asks, startling me.
I nod. “I think I’m all partied out for the night.” He follows my gaze and I curse, forcing myself to stop staring at Connor and turn to look at Rizzo instead. He looks at me thoughtfully, seeing more than he lets on, but doesn’t say anything about it.Bless him.
“Well, allow me to accompany you. I need to grab something from my room.” He holds out his arm, like a gentleman in a movie, and I can’t help but laugh. I wrap my arm around his and we head towards the door.
“Is the thing you need to grab from your room your balls to just suck it up and go after Nat again already?” I murmur quietly, leaning in to him.
His mouth drops open. “I…I mean, it isn’t…I tried…She’sthe one who…” he sputters and I grin.
“Figure it the fuck out, my friend,” I say, patting his chest sympathetically.
“Back at you, Mac,” he says pointedly.
“I wish I could,” I mutter as we leave the ballroom, the doors swinging shut behind us.
Chapter Seventeen
Connor
Tonight has been a whirlwind and I don’t even know where to begin dealing with it all. Emery is really great. Beautiful, funny, smart, ambitious, a single mom—the whole package, really. But just before she’d come up with Kasey, Hattie had been about to say something, and I just know that it was something big, something that might change everything. All night, I’ve been trying to get her alone for a second, to get her to talk to me, or at the very least, to gauge her real feelings about my impromptu date, but she’s been…not elusive, exactly. She’s been laughing and joking and having a good time like usual, but I can never quite get her to look me in the eye and I get the feeling that’s by design.
