AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Totally magic.” Ivy’s bright-green eyes sparkle with mischief. “I left class right after you texted. I’d had enough talk ofmovements.”
“Movements?”
With a sigh of disgust, Ivy spills. “She can’t stop extolling the virtues of prunes. Antioxidants, yes. Blood-sugar stabilizers, true. But, honestly, if she mentions her digestive issues one more time...”
“Thus, you have christened her Professor Plum.” I laugh. “What did you expect in a class called Nutrition through the Life Cycle?”
“A little more discussion of the rest of the cycle, that’s what! You’d think she would save the geriatrics for the end of the semester. I mean, what happened to natural chronology? Just becauseshe’sa centenarian—”
“Oh, the trials of a nutritional science major. Looks like you’re low on protein today. Want some of my burrito?”
Ivy cringes at my forkful of steaming, red-sauce-dripping shredded beef, then pulls a box of organic almonds from her waxed-canvas lunch bag.
“Don’t you ever miss meat?”
“Honestly? No. But I’ll keep the dairy.”
“Right? Much as I love beef, I’d have a way harder time giving up ice cream.” I swallow a bite of burrito and wipe off any evidence with a napkin. “Anyway, don’t you want to hear my latest date fail?”
“Sorry I was asleep when you came in,” she says, but I wave off her apology. We both knew she would be as soon as I left last night. “Was he a complete oaf?”
I blow a curl off my forehead and wonder yet again what is wrong with me. “He was completelynotan oaf. Nice, cute, smart, even tall.” Not that I’m too picky about the tall thing anymore. The Great Shame, as I labeled it, taught me better than that.
Ivy’s face scrunches in confusion. “So what was the problem?”
“Just... I don’t know. No chemistry.”
“Chemistry? Did he try to kiss you?”
“Please. I’m sure he felt the nonreaction as vividly as I did.”
Ivy frowns. “Hmm.”
“Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I struggled so hard to make conversation. And he was trying too. We just had nothing in common.”
“Nothing?”
“Well, nothing exciting. He assumed I would enjoy talking sports since I’m in rec management, and in desperation I went right along. Once he started in on the college football scene, all I had to do washmmor nod every few minutes.”
Which is why I’m now riddled with guilt. Regardless of the work I’ve done in therapy and all the progress I tell myself I’ve made since that most epic date fail brought awareness to the depth of my issues, I failed again last night. I may not have been rude like I was back then—I maintained eye contact and threw in enough comments to keep the conversation flowing, albeit like molasses—but I didn’t really listen, didn’t manage to reallyseehim like I vowed to after I realized how thoughtless I’d become.
“Seriously, Ivy. What is wrong with me? Why am I a noble gas when it comes to romantic reactivity? Am I destined to be alone?”
“Oh, come on. You’ve been attracted to plenty of guys!”
“Yeah, none of whom were attracted to me. And the ones who were?” I shudder around my last bite. It’s close enough to class time for me to escape the depressing conversation before she probes any deeper. Ivy knows about my Great Shame, so she can fully comprehend my guilt but has a nasty tendency toward reminding me to forget about it. As if it were that easy.
“Anyway, thanks for meeting me for lunch,” I say, “and for making my collegiate experience complete.”
“Huh?”
“Between Professor Plum’s movements and finally sitting in the corner booth, I am unconditionally fulfilled. I don’t even need to finish the semester now.”
Ivy’s carrot stops halfway to her mouth, her eyes narrowing. “Oh yes you do. How’s math?”
I deny a flicker of panic and wish I had chosen my words more carefully. If only I had more burrito to distract me or another topic to distract Ivy. Instead I have to deflect her challenge head-on. “I refuse to speak of The Unmentionable outside of class.”
“Have you turned anything in yet?”
