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Leaving Cedar Springs in the fall filled her with an intense melancholy, the likes of which she’d only felt once before, also at the end of a summer at the lake.For weeks once she returned to the city with the boys, Maureen would mope around the house, take long naps to pass the days, and find herself staring vacantly into space.
When the boys were still in grade school, Harold insisted that she talk to a psychologist about her depression.Maureen had made the appointment, but she’d canceled it two days before she was supposed to go.She knew what was wrong with her, and it wasn’t anything a stranger would be able to help her with.
She couldn’t avoid the end of summer, just as she couldn’t avoid her memories.She just needed to work through it and move past it.And she always did.
By the end of September, Maureen had once again fallen into the rhythm of daily life in the city.She immersed herself in volunteering at the boys’ schools, driving them to their extracurricular activities, and being the best mother she could.Soon, the memories of the summer were just that, memories.
Until the next year.
After the divorce, when she’d stopped her summer visits to Cedar Springs, the fall sadness had disappeared.She was simply too preoccupied with trying to rebuild her life to focus on things she couldn’t change.Like the past.
Now, as Maureen walked the quieter streets of Cedar Springs in the first week of September, she was struck by how different the end of summer felt.It was the first autumn since she’d moved there permanently.And, of course, there were the letters from Adam.
Instead of the familiar melancholy, Maureen felt a sense of excitement and hope about the future.
Adam’s latest letter was tucked into her purse.She’d read it on the deck that morning while she drank her coffee and then she read it again.
He wanted to arrange a meeting.
The idea thrilled her.But at the same time, it terrified her.
It had been so long since they’d seen each other.An entire lifetime had passed.She wasold.Then again, Adam was older.
The thought made her giggle as she opened the door to Dream Puffs, the home of the best cinnamon buns in Cedar Springs, or anywhere, as far as everyone in town was concerned.As good as they were, it wasn’t the cinnamon buns she preferred.
“What’s got you laughing this morning?”Suzy greeted her.“Don’t tell me I have flour on my face again.”The baker swiped at her face.
“You do,” Maureen pointed out.“But that’s not why I’m laughing.”
“Care to share what’s so funny?”Suzy grabbed a napkin and wiped her face before throwing it in the trash.“I could use a laugh today.I got distracted and left a tray of cookies in the oven a few minutes longer than I should have.”
“Oh no.I’m sorry to hear that.”Maureen did a quick scan at the display case of all the other delicious goodies.“And really, I’m just giggling to myself at an inside joke.It’s really nothing to share, sorry.”
“It was worth a try.What can I get you today?”
Ever since she was a child, Maureen had loved Dream Puffs’s apple Danishes.The recipe had been passed down for generations, and as far as Maureen was concerned, had only gotten better over the years.She had to limit herself to having one only once in a while or on special occasions, or she wouldn’t be able to fit into her clothes anymore.
The arrival of Adam’s letter was certainly a special occasion.
She ordered herself a warm pastry and a cup of peppermint tea and took both to a quiet table in the corner.
As soon as she was settled, Maureen pulled Adam’s letter from her purse.
Dearest Maureen,
I love hearing about little Clara.Your granddaughter sounds delightful, and I’m sure she provides you with an endless amount of joy.Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision by not having a family of my own.It’s true, I lived a life of service to others and I’ve had my share of adventure.But as you know, those experiences came with a certain amount of sacrifice as well.
There have been many times, especially in the quiet of the night when I am left with only my own thoughts, that I wonder if I made the right decision.
Although, I’m sure most of us feel that way from time to time when it comes to life’s bigger choices.No one can really know if the choices they are making are the right ones.And is there ever really a right way to live life?
The best we can hope for is to live a life that makes us happy and gives us purpose.I have done that on many levels but as I near the end of my time here, I find that my thoughts turn to other things.
It has been such a pleasure getting to know you again, Maureen, through these letters, and I would love nothing more than to see your beautiful smile again.
If I may be so bold, I would like to invite you to a very special place I found years ago.Every time I visited over the years, I thought of you, and I think you will find it to be a magical place, particularly during the holiday season.I will make all the arrangements and reserve two rooms if you would do me the honor of agreeing to see me again.
Your room will be reserved in your name at Merry Falls Inn in the mountains of North Carolina from December 18-20 to give you plenty of time to return home for little Clara’s first Christmas.
