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Fuck. He stares straight through me as though he’s not even seeing me, while I see everything. This is going to kill him. He’s not like me. He’s not made of stone. He feels the guilt. And it’s my fault he’s in this situation. I should have saved him back then.
“It’s your turn to run, Jesse,” he says suddenly, snapping out of his daze. “Take Willow and go. Get her help. I’ll deal with this.”
“Fuck off. We’ll go together. Come on. I need your help to save her.”
He doesn’t move for a beat, maybe thinking I’m joking, but when I lift her in my arms and try holding my phone for light at the same time, he snaps out of it.
“Fine. I’ll help you down, but then you need to go.”
There’s no way that’s happening, but I don’t argue. We’ll cross that bridge later.
We’re not too far from the clearing, but I detour, walking past the cliff edge, needing to see for myself. When I glance down, all I see is darkness, yet I know that Tate’s right. The drop’s more severe than the place Jade fell; no one’s surviving that. I know with no uncertainty that Alex is dead, and the thought actually brings me satisfaction.
Just like with my foster father, I feel no remorse, no sadness, no guilt. I’m happy Tate did what he did. He’s a hero, even if he doesn’t see it that way. It seems I haven’t changed as much as I thought I had.
When we reach the trees, I throw my phone at Tate and he catches it in his good hand, shining the light in front of us. After securing Willow in a tighter hold, we take off running through the darkness toward the road. All while I whisper her name over and over, begging her to wake up. Getting nothing in return.
At one point my shoulder slams into a short branch, sending pain radiating through my body, but I keep moving. Nothing is more important than getting Willow to help.
“Are you sure this is the right way?” Tate yells as the light disappears from in front of me, lighting up a path in another direction.
“I don’t fucking know.” I panic. “I’m just—”
“Jesse?” Willow rasps, and I almost drop to my knees as the tension leaves my body. Relief swarms me, and it’s not until she says my name again that I realize I’m not only relieved that she’s awake, but also relieved that she remembers me.
“Fuck, Willow.” I gently kiss her head, her cheeks, her nose, every spare bit of skin I can see, as tears prick my eyes.
“She’s okay,” I call out to Tate when he doesn’t stop. “Willow’s awake.”
“You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.” I kiss her again and she giggles before wincing in pain. “Don’t move, I’ve got you.”
“Did you just call me baby?”
“No?”Fuck, did I? It’s not important.
“What happened?” she asks next, seemingly moving on from my term of endearment. “What happened to Alex?”
“Alex is gone. You’re safe. That’s all you need to know for now.”
“Why does my head hurt?” She winces again and my heart cracks.
“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me that.”
Her face scrunches as she stares up at me with a puzzled expression. “Was I shot?”
I cringe at her question. I was so worried about Alex and the gun, I didn’t even realize Willow was hurt. “No, Buttercup. You weren’t shot. Something happened before we got there and I didn’t fucking notice. I didn’t see it until it was too late. I should have been focused on you.”
“I’m happier you were focused on Alex. I only wish you’d done more damage.” She speaks softly and I know she doesn’t mean that. She’s not that person. Not like me. I wish I’d killed him myself. I wish I’d ended his life the second I ran into that clearing.
“We don’t have to think about him anymore,” I say instead of telling her how I really feel. “Let’s just concentrate on you.”
We continue walking again and thankfully reach the road relatively quickly. Tate’s car is parked in front of us, while mine’s farther away, so I automatically walk toward his, desperate to get moving, until he calls out for me to stop. “It’s a manual. I can’t drive a stick.” He points to his arm and I feel nauseous. If we don’t get him to the hospital soon, he might lose function in his hand.
“I’ll drive, it’s—”
“No!” he snaps, cutting me off. “You need to stay with Willow. Is yours auto?”
“It is. Let’s go.”
