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“And you’re willing to live without him at the risk of it not being true?”
“What else do I have? Should I live out my life like this, in some redneck, dying out, logging town?”
“Can you bear to be far from him?” Walter asked. As much as he hated werewolves, I knew he understood my pain.
His kind didn’t come back. Wherever their souls went after they departed it wasn’t here, and his soul tie was staked through when the wars were just getting started. He’d carried pain from the war, in his loss, for hundreds of years, and it was the reason I suspected he settled here, far away from most of the damage.
“I don’t know.” The answer was no. I’d leave my heart here if I left. But I wouldn’t be able to stay away. Even if I convinced Dominic I was gone, I’d come back. I’d watch him with his pack. Prophecy true or not, I’d watch him go to war with his people, and I’d watch him die young. It was the inevitable cycle of his kind. Sacrifice after sacrifice for a war so long fought, they didn’t even remember the cause.
I wanted to strangle him until he saw how pointless it all was. The loss and bloodshed and dying for a cause that didn’t matter. His honor and life would be given, and for what? Because they’d been poisoned against each other for hundreds of years in a war started by those long dead and the reasons with them.
“I don’t believe you will.” He poured me another glass. “‘Tis a shame to waste your days on him. For both of you.”
“I know, but try talking sense into a youngster,” I said through my teeth.“They don’t understand the world yet, at his age.”
“He is quite a bit younger than you are.” Walter had a twinkle in his eyes.
“Tell me about it. I’d never thought I’d be into the like.” But Dominic was the first person who made me feel alive. The first person to not treat me like I was an ancient relic or some sort of trophy to be collected and shown off.
“You love him.”
“How could I not? I didn’t realize I had a choice,” I said sardonically.
Walter was silent for a moment. “You know there is a difference, don’t you?”
I shook my head, keeping my focus on my drink.
“There is a difference between a soul tie and love. The soul tie is the connection, the pull, the need, and the desire to be with that person, but love is something entirely different. Not all soul ties become love. Or stay in love.”
It would be impossible not to love him. He was all passion, and when we were together, I knew all his focus was on me. I was the only thing in the world to him, and I felt it. Until he walked out the door, that is.
The idea of leaving, the profound loss, threatened to swallow me whole. I choked on the grief. I knew then I’d be chasing him for a thousand lifetimes if he let me. This one would never be enough, nor would I be able to stand by and miss it. Because no matter my tie to his soul in his next life, he would never be this version of himself again. He would never be my Dominic again.
I pushed my stool back.
“Going to him?” Walter wore a tight smile. He knew I’d already broken.
“What else can I do?”
“I won’t ever be the one to judge you. I know the weight of it.”
“One of the few.” I left a few bills on the counter and headed out into the cool night. The wind whipped my coat around me, but it didn’t bother me like it did humans. The weather was something to be noticed but not suffered through. My body was used to the cold, made with years of evolution to withstand the same conditions the dead lived in. Cold castles and black nights in the coldest places on earth, where the vampires felt more at home.
My thoughts were dark as I walked toward his lands. He wouldn’t be in the little town the wolves all lived in. He would need space from people while he mourned.
He had a cabin up the side of one of the mountains far north into his lands. I could have run and been there in a few hours, but I needed the time to settle up with myself and the decision I was making going to him. Going that far into his land.
I was at his door before I wanted to be. I lifted a hand to knock, but he threw it open before I could.
“Heard me coming?”
“Of course.”
“Would you invite me in, Dominic?” I asked. I didn’t need it, but I wanted it.
“Why are you here?” There was a smile lingering on the edges of his mouth, nearly there, poised and ready.
“Because I am tired of fighting it. So, if you want to use me, if you only want to fuck every couple of months, then I guess I’m in.” It was pathetic, but it was honest. “Are you going to invite me in?”
