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The solstice called to me. To us. To our animals. The longest day and the shortest night. Both solstices were sacred to us but for very different reasons. People assumed only the moon drew out my kind, but we changed too with the changing of the seasons. As animals, we were so closely tied to nature we paid respect to the changes. We were bound to the mother and her earth. As beasts, those instincts were tied to our DNA, and most of us had no choice in the whims of the Gods.
“You feel distant,” Vin said as I smeared a mixture of herbs down my nose and chin.
“I’m not distant, I promise. It’s the pull of my spirit.”
“Can you feel it?” he asked carefully.
I nodded. “Yes, like part of me is being sucked out of my chest cavity and trying to go out the window with the wind to join the pack.”
“Is that how it feels on the full moon?” He met my eyes in the mirror.
“Similar. Both can be powerful, and neither can be resisted for long. Nature takes over.” I closed my eyes, allowing myself to sink into the feeling so I didn’t dwell on what we were about to do.
“It’s strange. I can feel it. Not like you are leaving, but it’s a little unsettling, like pieces of you are flaking off in the wind.” Vin wore a serious expression, and I assumed he was as nervous as I was.
“Soon, you’ll be able to feel all those pieces of me and my pack mixed together when we run. It’s a lot of energy. I think you’ll enjoy it.”
He nodded, taking it in. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I replied, knowing what he was asking. “I want this.”
“Okay.”
“It’s coming.”
Vinkettin’s icy eyes glowed in the low light. “Do I need to do anything?”
“Be there when we become human again.”
“Of course. I plan to stay with you all night,” he said, and my skin prickled. I knew this was coming, but the idea of a non-wolf running with the pack on our holy night put a weird taste in my mouth.
But he was my mate, and this was his place. On my left-hand side.
“I have to introduce you after the run.” My words came softly as the wolf pushed and pulled, telling me it was time.
It took power to resist the wolf. Most of my kind had little choice when it came to their change. Our blood mixing with humans for too many generations weakened us. Those of us left with full power were held in higher regard. I wasn’t sure it was right, but it was the way of the world.
The first howls fill the night as the sun sank beneath the horizon.
“Hope you can keep up,” Laura said to Vin.
“Watch yourself.” He snapped his teeth.
One last look at Vin before the beast took over. He knew what tonight was, and he was ready to feast and fuck.
I didn’t try to resist him tonight. When the earth called, I let the change take me.
Teeth slamming together, gritting against the agony of letting a monster crawl out of my mind and take form in my flesh. Reborn every time I let him out, the shape of me submitted to his will, and he locked me in his mind. A passenger for the first part of the ritual.
I inhaled human and exhaled wolf.
I’d loved and hated my wolf for as long as I could remember. We had an accord most of the time, but we disagreed as much as any pair of beings forced to share the same space. A lot of my kind liked to think they and the beasts were one and the same, but I knew better. I’d grown to separate myself from the animal. I gave my human mind no excuses to act like a monster.
I turned toward Vin, seeing him through the black eyes of the wolf. He smiled, fangs on full display. The wolf pushed into his side, nuzzling. Confusion flashed through my mind, and the wolf laughed. Howled, dark, and full of mirth. He enjoyed my confusion. Wolves didn’t think in words and phrases like humans did. Their consciousness was pictures and scents and tangles of senses difficult to piece together on a good day, but today, the wolf made it clear what Vin was to him.
Vin was his mate as much as he was mine. The wolf would protect him as fiercely as he protected our human form. This person belonged to him. He’d defend Vin against even my own hand.
Interesting.
