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“Fuck.”
TWENTY-NINE
DOMINIC
It couldn’t be the priestess. I didn’t believe it…but it was the only thing that made sense. I didn’t know how to process it. All of it was my fault. By trying to avoid my duty, I’d put the pack in danger. By denying my mate, I did this. I hated myself. I’d done this.
Me.
I hadn’t faced my fate like I’d always told myself I had. I avoided Vin, knowing it would turn the pack on me, thinking I was doing the best thing for them, and instead, I was destroying them.My realization about avoiding my fate was true. By trying to stay alive to protect them, I’d put them in harms way.
“Stop,” Vin said, low and gruff.
“What?” I’d accepted the connection we now shared, but I didn’t like having my innermost feelings about failure exposed at this moment.
My pain would never be my own again. Forever shared with another person, and I wasn’t ready for how raw it left me.
“You know what.”
I shook my head and cast my gaze out the window. “I don’t like this.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that our actions have consequences. Far-reaching ones.”
The car swerved, and I slammed into the door. Sputtering, I turned to find Vin had pulled over and jumped out of the car. Before my brain caught up, he wrenched open my door and grabbed my shirt, dragging me from the car.
I threw his hands off as I stumbled forward. “What the fuck?”
“If you want to have a fucking pity party about decisions you made pertaining to me, you can do it to my face.”
“What?” I stared at him. Did he actually? “Not everything is about you.”
“Bullshit, Dominic. I feel it.” He pulled his shirt aside to show me the mark on his neck, still red and white, not quite healed despite how fast his healing normally was. “Have you already forgotten? It’s written in flesh. You are. I feel how much you hate yourself for doing these things to your people.”
“You misunderstand.” I stepped closer, reaching for him, shaking my head. “I’m mad at myself.”
“For choosing me.” He shoved me back. “Don’t touch me.”
“You’re so fucking dumb. Hating myself for putting my people in danger has nothing to fucking do with you. You need to actually fucking trust me. How many times can I reassure you this is what I want, and you’re still reacting like this?” It was maddening.
“Why’d you choose to make yourself infertile? Tell me, Dominic.”
“Because I don’t want children. I don’t want to bring more life into this fucked-up situation, but more than that, I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to be able to feel their hands on me in the morning.” My nails bit into my palms as I squeezed my hands into fists. I chased pain to calm me. How the bad habits we develop as children follow us for the rest of our lives. But I didn’t know how else to be. “I’m allowed to be hard on myself for my own mistakes. It has nothing to do with you. I’ve made all these choices.”
“You made those choices because of me. I felt it,” he said through his teeth. “Don’t tell me what I felt.” He stalked toward me.
I fell back into a fighting stance before I realized what I was doing.
“Going to fight me over it?” He brought his fists up.
“I thought we had to get to the fucking priestess?”
“Not when this is between us. If we go in divided, she’ll use it. So bring it.” He lowered to a stance I couldn’t easily knock, and I wanted to hit him. I wanted to punch the smug look off his fucking face for thinking he knew what my feelings were.
“As much as I want to hit you, it’s not for any of the reasons you want.” Against all my instincts, I straightened up and dropped my hands. “But if you want to start something and ruin your crisp shirt, go for it.” I stepped closer, putting myself in his range. “Work out what you think you need to work out.”
He pulled back, cocking his arm, but stayed there. I took another step toward him, daring him to do it.
