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“I don’t think that would affect her job. She was with me when I made the decision to go after him. She supported me.” But there was more. It was written all over Raf’s face. “You’re not saying something.”
“I think she is with the group who think you’re incompetent and not able to do your job because of Vin. I think you need to keep an eye on it. If anyone could replace you, she could.” Raf wouldn’t meet my eyes. There was more he wasn’t saying.
A scoff bubbled up in my throat. I wanted to tell him there was no way she’d take me in a fair fight. I’d wipe the floor with her and anyone else in the pack who dared to bring a challenge, but the more I thought about it, the more it became clear. I didn’t think Laura would ever bring a fair fight. She wouldn’t bring one unless she knew she’d win. Neither of us would. What I really had to fear was her biding her time, if what my brother was saying was accurate.
“What does Az think?”
“The same, but I lost the bet, so I had to tell you.”
Shit. “How long?”
“You’ve had a lot going on...”
Weeks, at least.
I laced my fingers behind my head and turned away from him. Everything slipped through my fingers, and the ground was unsteady. Had I really set so many pieces against me when I’d chosen Vinkettin? I’d known it wouldn’t be a smooth road for the two of us, but I never dreamed it would be this rough.
My life wasn’t meant to be smooth, and I’d accepted that a long time ago. I had no dreams of coasting, but a time without constant turmoil would be nice.
“What should I do about it?” I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe one of my closest friends in the world had a knife at my back.
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. Whispers going around the pack with unrest. It might be nothing...” Raf trailed off.
I tipped my head. “I guess I’ll go talk to her. Worst she can do is deny it.”
“Is it good to give her a heads up?”
“I think I owe it to her to give her the chance to explain herself.” Before this moment, she was my most trusted adviser. I would give her the benefit of the doubt.
“Alright. Let’s go.” Raf pushed off his pants and pulled off his shirt.
I lost my sweats as he turned toward the woods. It was too early for the club to be open, but she’d be there. She managed the gambling side of my operations and kept herself busy with the books.
My brother shifted with ease, letting his wolf take over mid-stride. Sometimes, I envied the connection others had with their beasts. Mine was too tremulous, like everything else in my life. For as long as I was prevented from connecting with him, we’d never bonded into one being like others said they were.
Two separate beasts bound to share the same skin, and there would always be a fight for control. No matter how well we got along, one would always think they knew better than the other.
And thus, I locked him in my mind. Otherwise, he would have taken my body at every opportunity.
I opened those mental locks.
One by one.
Each coming with a snarl.
Each coming with pain.
And each one with the foreknowledge I might not be able to put him back one day.
One day, he could be in control and lock me in the cage.
He left from me.
We ran toward answers.
Toward the search for peace.
Toward the idea that maybe I’d be able to get enough of a handle on the world around me to get some real time with Vinkettin. It was the only thing that kept me going.
