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“Are you... jealous?” she sputters.
“No, of course not!” I snap as I rise and step closer to her. Then I calm down. “Maybe,” I add, reaching for her. She steps back and I follow until she has nowhere else to go.
“Don’t touch me, Tyler.”
I can see her panic. “Why not, Olivia?” I lean closer, but don’t touch her.
“I can’t handle it, Tyler. Please, you have to leave me alone.”
“I messed up, Olivia. I can’t go a single day without thinking about you. The thought of any other man coming near you makes me go insane. We both played games, but it can’t be too late for us. In the beginning of all of this, I admit that all I wanted was a good time in bed, but then it changed. I didn’t realize it was changing. I don’t give my trust easily — I’ve told you some of the reasons — but I need to let those go. My life’s only half full without you in it. Forgive me. Please.” I don’t touch her, don’t move back, just wait for her to respond.
“What about the baby?” she asks.
“It really doesn’t matter. If she’s your child, I’ll love her.”
I mean this. I’ll love the child for no other reason than I love her. And anything that’s a part of her I’ll cherish. Why has it taken me so long to figure it out? Why have I been such a disaster? Why have we tried to damage each other so much? Because we’re both broken. But maybe together, we can heal.
“I don’t understand this change.” She has every reason not to trust me. I’ve been far from trustworthy.
“She’s mine.”
“Wait. What?”
“I decided on the drive here that I don’t care if she’s another man’s, I don’t care what you did during our relationship, because I want you that much. But now I know you weren’t with anyone else. You aren’t that way. This is my child.”
“Is that what this is about, Tyler? You figured out this child is yours and you don’t want to miss out on raising him or her?”
“No, Olivia. What this is about is that I love you. And because I realize how much I love you, I know this child is mine. But even if she, or he, wasn’t, I’d still love you. If we just met today, I’d still fall in love with you. Because you’re my other half, and fate has brought us together another time in our lives. Why else would we keep finding each other?”
“Do you remember the gentleman’s club?” she asks.
“Yes. After you said what you said at the hospital, I did some soul searching. I ran through my mind all of the shitty things I’ve done in my life. I remember a waitress, I remember your face and I remember my friend being a dick, and the way I laughed. I did that because I wanted him to leave you alone. I didn’t defend you because I was an asshole. That group was a bad group. That was my last night out with them, if it makes any difference.”
“What about the limo?” I don’t want to admit to this. It shows who I was back then, and I wasn’t a good man.
“I was drunk for a year straight then. I did some horrible things. But yes, I remember. I tried to block that time out of my life. I didn’t know you were a virgin. I didn’t even see you back then. But now that I know, I hope you’ll forgive me.”
I wait for her verdict, afraid of what she’ll say next. I seem to be afraid of everything right now. But most of all, I’m afraid of losing her. If I can gain her love, everything else will work out.
“You’re in love with me?” she finally whispers.
“Yes, Olivia, so in love with you.” I lean forward and gently kiss the corner of her mouth, then skim my lips across hers, my touch soft. “I love you so much I hurt,” I add as I pull her close. And I nearly jump for joy when she melts against me. Picking her up, I move to the couch and cradle her in my arms.
“I thought I was happier alone... if I didn’t give you my heart, there was no way to get hurt again. But it wasn’t my choice whether to give it to you or not. It’s always been yours, from the time we were kids. I should slow this down, tell you we’re moving too fast,” she murmurs against my neck. “But I can’t find it in me to deny you. I’ve missed you so much. I hurt without you too.” Her tears warm my skin.
“I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you,” I tell her as I caress her back.
“Don’t do it again, Tyler.”
“I swear I won’t,” I say before moving away — just a little — and holding her face so she can see into my eyes. “We’ll marry and you can teach me every day how to be a better man.”
“That’s your idea of a decent proposal?”
“What’s wrong with it?” I ask.
“What makes you think a nice girl like me will marry a man like you?”
“Should I have added the wordsIf you’ll have me?” Olivia laughs before leaning forward and kissing me, this time long and slow. When she breaks away we’re both breathing heavily.
