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He glances across at me as we drive, and I notice that we’re not heading in the direction of home.
Which makes me wonder, where are we going?
“Well?” James asks. He doesn’t sound unkind, but he does sound serious.
And I put on my best bratty voice. “Well, what?”
“You know what. I saved you back there, but I’m wondering the same thing they are. Whose baby is it?”
I hesitate for a moment, staring at him. There’s a hint of annoyance in his voice, I’m sure of it. His eyes might still be kind, they might still speak to parts of me that are crying out for his touch, but I’m about to lose him and I don’t have any idea how to stop it happening.
“Is this it for us?” I ask, facing my problems head on. Go me. “Are you driving me somewhere to dump me and leave me out in the cold? Because if you are—”
“What the fuck? Dump you? Leave you?”
“Isn’t that where we’re going?” I feel my voice starting to break and I can’t stop it.
Before I know it, I’m weeping, turning away to stare out of the window and I feel his hand on my thigh. He pulls his truck on the side of the road as everything inside me tenses. Is this where he’s leaving me?
“I’ll never leave you. Never. You hear me?” I feel his fingers on my chin as he turns my head, forcing me to face him. “You’re mine. I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” The intensity in his voice makes me swallow the lump in my throat. But I can’t let myself relax now. Not yet.
“And my baby?”
“Our baby, Nancy. Fuck. You think I could live my life without you in it? Wrong. You and this baby are mine to protect. Mine. But I need to know. Who is the father? I promise not to kill him unless… Wait… Baby, you said you were a virgin, so I’m a confused motherfucker. You lied?”
“I didn’t lie.” I shake my head, hurt that he could even think that, but I also understand why he would. “There’s nobody but you. There’s never been anybody but you. You were my first time.”
I hope he hears the truth in my words. I need him to.
He narrows his eyes, glancing down at my bump. “I find that kind of hard to believe. Unless you’re carrying the Messiah there, which, hell, you’re an angel, so…”
I laugh, spluttering through the tears. I can’t even imagine how I’m laughing at this situation, but it’s James. With him, I do things I've never thought possible. “I’m a surrogate. For Mason. Doctor did the whole deal. No body parts touched. Or it was supposed to be for Mason. He relinquished all rights to the baby when he realized he was going to be in prison for at least a decade.”
He nods thoughtfully. “Mason.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Me too. From now on, lil’ bit, you tell me everything, okay? So Mason gave up all rights. Is that official, or just, like—”
“It’s official. All signed and sealed.”
“So it’s our baby then,” he says, nodding like he’s just decided how the world should be ordered. As if all the stars just came into alignment and agreed to his plan.
He pulls away again, merging into traffic then onto a side street. “As soon as we get home,” he tells me, “we’re calling our parents.”
“What? No, you don’t—”
“Yes, Nancy. We need to tell them about us, and we need to tell them about our baby. They need to know and I want them to know. Fuck, I want to shout it from the fucking rooftops.”
“You don’t know my dad. He might not take it well.”
James shrugs. “If he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We’ll deal with that. Together. But you haven’t spent enough time around my mom. She has a way of making people get things into perspective. She did it with me, she did it with my brothers. To an extent, she even did it with my dad. When my little brothers moved in with him, she helped me see the positives in that situation. I still miss them, but she was right, it allowed me to focus on my career.”
I nod, taking it in. “If you’re not dumping me, where are we going?” I ask, looking out at roads that are only vaguely familiar.
“The store down here has the best reviews. Their selection is good and the staff know what they’re talking about. Apparently.”
“Selection of what?”
He indicates and pulls to the curb, putting the truck into park and putting a hand over mine when I go to take off my seat belt. “Of baby things, of course. And for new mothers. I want you and this one to have the best of everything, and that starts right now.”
