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The embarrassment hits me then, a hot wave of it washing over me, but he’s already walking, carrying me down to the cabin. I bury my face in his shoulder, feeling the dampness of his skin, tasting the salt from his swim, and hot tears flood my eyes as the throbbing in my temples intensifies.
I am pregnant.
There’s zero doubt in my mind.
And now he knows it too.
Chapter 26
Alexei
My ribcage feels like it’s made of cement, my lungs unable to expand for a full breath as I carefully set Alina down on her feet in the bathroom and keep a hold on her from the back while she rinses out her mouth and brushes her teeth, avoiding my eyes in the mirror the entire time.
Fuck.
I’ve been suspecting it, fearing it for days now.
My plan succeeded all too well.
She’s pregnant with my baby.
And I’m fucking terrified.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” My voice is tight, angry-sounding, even though the only anger I’m feeling is at myself. This isn’t the first time she’s been sick, I’m sure of it. Several times over the past couple of days, I’ve returned to the cabin and found her on the bed, her skin the same pale-greenish shade it is now.
She’s been throwing up and not telling me. Suffering and hiding it from me.
She spits out the toothpaste and finally meets my gaze in the mirror. There are dark streaks of mascara on her cheeks.
Tear streaks.
My gut clenches, and the cement cage around my lungs grows tighter as she replies in a small, hoarse voice, “I didn’t want you to know.”
Of course she didn’t. Why would she?
I did this to her.
I forced it on her.
And now she could die, just like my mother.
It takes everything I have to keep my expression unchanged and my tone even. “There is a submarine coming for Ruslan in a few hours. On it is a team of doctors with a small clinic’s worth of medical equipment. They’ll examine you, and then we’ll know for sure.”
Her eyes widen as I speak, and then I see it.
A spark of hope in her gaze.
She’s probably wondering if she can convince one of those doctors to help her get the word out to her brothers.
Normally, I would take a dark sort of pleasure in disabusing her of that hope, but all I can think about now is the fact that she’s already ill. That the baby, tiny as it is, is already hurting her, and it’s all my fault. So I stay quiet about the fact that the doctors are carefully vetted and extensively scanned, and that they understand the consequences for them and their families if the Molotovs were to catch wind of our location.
Her relentless desire to escape is of secondary importance to me now.
“Here,” I say after she washes her face, ridding it of the streaks of mascara along with all other makeup. “Let me take you to bed. You need to rest.”
“No, wait, I need…” She reaches for the drawers with her makeup, and I gently pull her away.
“That can wait.”
Besides, I love her face like this, without anything to hide its natural beauty. Her pale skin has a pearly glow that her foundation normally hides, and her unpainted mouth looks soft and vulnerable, the curve of her upper lip beatifically sweet. Other women appear more down-to-earth and approachable without makeup, but not my Alinyonok. She looks ethereal, angelic… and infinitely more tempting.
Ignoring her protests, I pick her up and carry her out of the bathroom and to the bed, where I lay her down, remove her high-heeled sandals from her feet, and cover her with the blanket. She closes her eyes and takes small, shallow breaths, as if she’s still nauseated.
Fucking fuck. I wonder if her head is hurting too.
Ignoring the tightness in my chest, I pull out my phone and message Vika to come with her needles. Then I sit on the edge of the bed, gently extract one of my wife’s slender wrists from under the blanket, and begin massaging the inside of it with my thumb the way she likes.
I will fix this.
I will make it better.
I don’t yet know how, but I will.
Chapter 27
Alina
I’m waking up from a nap when I hear unfamiliar voices outside the cabin door. They’re male and female, speaking a mixture of Russian and English with a variety of accents.
My pulse accelerates.
The doctors.
They’re here.
Apparently having arrived by submarine.
I sit up and note with relief that the nausea and dizziness are gone. Vika’s needles helped, along with whatever magic is in Alexei’s touch.
In this fucked-up fairy tale of ours, he may be more of the evil wizard than the dragon, slowly but surely pulling me under his spell.
Well, fuck that. This is my chance.
Jumping off the bed, I hurry to the bathroom, where I quickly fix my face and generally make myself presentable. Just as I emerge, a knock sounds on the cabin door.
