Page 33 of Daddy in Blue


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Ford nodded slowly, stroking a hand through his beard. I could tell that his next question was a tough one for him. “Is he…missing something? Did I do something wrong? When his mom left, I tried to be the best parent I could be. I know sometimes I wasn't there as much as I wanted to be; I had to work and provide, but Henley was always my priority. But is he needing this because of something I did when he was young?”

My heart ached for Ford. He had no judgment of Henley's needs, but he was afraid he'd taken something from his son, which was simply not true. “Absolutely not,” I replied with understanding in my smile and voice. “Henley talks so highly of you and his childhood. Even though you were a single parent, he never felt deprived. People enjoy age regression because it allows them to let go of worries and responsibilities. They can return to a happy point in their life to just feel, experience, and be happy. If anything, his needs are a testament to how wonderful he felt during his childhood. This is his safe place.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a sigh. “I've been beating myself up thinking that I did something to make him feel like this. Not that there's anything wrong with that or what he needs. I just…” he trailed off and sighed again.

“I get it. Trust me, I do. I can tell that you hold no judgment; you just want your son to be happy. It's okay to have questions or even concerns. You want what's best for him, and that's what makes you a great dad.” It would also make him a pretty damn good Daddy, but that wasn't my place to say. He had a sweet soul and desire to take care of people important to him.

“Can I ask a question about you?”

“Go for it.” I was an open book to him. I was totally devoted to Henley. I wanted to go the distance with him, so it was important to have a close relationship with Ford as well.

“Why are you drawn to this lifestyle? Was your own childhood or father so great that you wanted to share that with someone in a different way?”

“Not exactly.” I gave Ford a brief overview of my life, focusing on the way my family disowned me due to my orientation and desires.

“I'm sorry you went through that.”

“Thank you. It was a tough time. I won't hide or deny who I am. But I think the whole ordeal only solidified what I knew about myself; it was my calling to be a caretaker. I hadn't experienced full and unconditional love, but I wanted to give it to someone.”

“I'm happy to hear you say that. When I learned these things about Henley, my biggest worry was that he wouldn't find what he needed. I had never heard of this lifestyle, so I wondered how many people had. I was concerned he wouldn't find anyone to share it with; that he would be lonely.”

Ford's expression intensified when he added, “I never want my son to be lonely. I never want to see his heart get broken. If you are going to be with him, you're going to treat him right. I will always protect and fight for him. I know you're a cop, but I'm not afraid to go to jail.”

It was somehow the sweetest threat I'd ever received. “I appreciate your concern. It makes me so happy that Henley has you to look after him, but now he has me, too. I will fight for and protect him as well, and I never want to break his heart. I'm devoted to him, Ford. He's everything I've been looking for, and as long as he wants to be with me, I will never let him go.”

He gave me a long stare before finally nodding. “Good. I like you, Amir, and I'm glad Henley found you. When he told me you were a police officer, it alleviated some of my fears; I expected you to be patient, understanding, and confident, and you've proven me right. Henley needs a strong man in his corner, and I'm glad it's you.”

“So am I,” I agreed, and Ford chuckled. “He is an amazing man.”

“Yes, he is. Now, I think we better get him back in here before he pulls himself bald.”

I laughed as well, nodding my agreement. As much as I valued my conversation and connection with Ford, I missed my boy and wanted to make sure he was okay.

“Hen?” Ford called out, and a moment later, a pair of wide eyes peeked in from around the wall. “Come back in, please.”

Henley shuffled into the kitchen, his face burning red and his hand tangled in his curls. I pulled out his chair and he sat next to me again. Before Ford or I could say a word, Henley offered, “I'm sorry if I caused trouble. I didn't mean to say anything; the name just popped out.”

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