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“But when another driver was merging onto the highway, the teen in the lead got spooked and cut their wheel as they slammed on their brakes. The other two cars crashed into them, and one actually rolled.”
“Oh no,” I said as my own eyes filled with moisture. I looked up at Daddy, who was blinking at the ceiling. “Did they all…?” I couldn't bring myself to ask the question, but he understood anyway.
He shook his head, but I only got momentary relief because he added, “There were nine students. Four of them had bad injuries, and three of them didn't make it. Two of them were already gone when I arrived on the scene.”
His voice cracked as he continued, “There was a young girl named Isabella who was gravely injured, but still conscious. She was trapped in the car, and there was nothing I could do until the Jaws of Life arrived with the fire department. She was so scared, and kept asking if she was alive. I looked her right in the eyes and told her everything was going to be okay, even though I knew it wasn't. And then she was gone.”
“Oh, Daddy.” I couldn't imagine that choice; to give a lie for comfort, but then have to shoulder the guilt it brought.
“Backup officers arrived, along with other emergency personnel. I helped secure some of their wounds and load them into the ambulances. The two uninjured kids were understandably a mess, screaming, crying, and begging us to help their friends. They were transported to the hospital as well to be evaluated for shock and unseen injuries.
“I stayed at the scene to wait for the clean up crew and scene investigators. I gave my report, and my supervisor told me I wasn't in the condition to talk to the victims’ families.”
I agreed; he was covered in their blood and in a fragile state. He'd already been through so much; maybe it was better if someone who wasn't involved gave the bad news.
Daddy looked at me and my heart shattered when tears bubbled over the brim of his eyes. “They were just kids; someone's sons and daughters. I can't imagine what the families are going through, or the guilt the survivors will carry. Nobody deserved this. It was such a terrible, senseless accident.”
My sweet Daddy fell apart. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed into them. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and I sobbed, too. I was heartbroken for the teens, their families and friends, and also for Daddy.
He saw this type of thing so often on his job, and had to carry the weight of the burden. But he didn't have to carry it alone anymore. Though I couldn't be on the job with him, I could listen, sympathize, and love him through it all. I could remind him that he had a partner to lean on, and I'd never let him forget or feel alone.
In the moment, it felt like the best way to help was to hold him and cry right along with him, so that's what I did. I'd never seen Daddy like this; he was always so strong, confident, and brave. But this didn't change any of those things. If anything, it enhanced them. He was strong enough, kind enough, and brave enough to serve and protect strangers, even when it took a toll on him.
We clung to each other, and eventually our tears dried up. Letting out all the pain was the best thing to do. We may not have known the people involved, but it was still healthy to grieve for them. Though God didn't hear from me often, I whispered a prayer and hoped it helped.
Daddy's breathing soon evened out and he went back to drawing lines across my back. I knew he must have so much on his mind. Mine was racing and I hadn't seen the things he had.
But my focus was no longer on the poor people who had been involved in the accident. There was nothing else I could do to help them. They were in good hands with healthcare professionals and their loved ones. The only person I could care for now was my sweet Daddy.
I raised my head from his chest to look up at him again, and he gave me a tiny smile. It didn't make his dark eyes sparkle like his smiles normally did, but I was glad to see that a lot of the grief had left his expression.
“I'm sorry to put all of that on you,” he said, his grin disappearing. “My supervisor told me to leave work early and I had to see you. I had to hold you in my arms and feel that you were safe. I didn't mean to drop everything in your lap. I'm so sorry I upset you.”
