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“Shit,” I say, not answering the phone but not putting it down either.
“What?” Drew asks.
“It’s Derek,” I say.
“So answer it,” she chides.
No sooner than she says that, my phone stops buzzing. I wait for a moment, wondering if it will sound off again. When it doesn’t, I toss it onto the opposite end of the couch and shrug.
“I feel like I should mention thatalsowould have been an ideal time to be the bigger person,” she says, raising her eyebrows at me.
“I’ll be the bigger person tomorrow. I don’t have the energy tonight,” I relent.
There’s a knock at the door a few moments later. “It’s probably Hawk with his hands full,” Drew says. “I’ll get it.” She stands from the couch, taking short quick strides toward the door.
Despite myself, I begin pawing around the couch, looking for my phone.
“Oh hey, Derek,” I hear Drew say.
My eyes shoot up toward the door and sure enough, he’s standing there. Just as beautiful as ever but now it makes me sad. Because I know he’s going to break my heart.
He looks past her directly to me. “I’m sorry for stopping by unannounced,” he says to her. “But I was hoping I would find Willette here.”
“Well, you’re in luck,” Drew says, inviting him in.
I stand, gulping down the rest of the wine in my glass and then setting it down carefully. Which I sort of regret because now I don’t know what to do with my hands. I don’t have any pockets or pens to save me. So I cross them over my chest.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I was hoping we could talk,” he says. “If that’s all right with you?”
He runs his hand through the wavy hair on top of his head and while I know he’s not trying to, I can’t help but feel like everything he does teases me.
“Um, okay,” I say.
“You guys can step into the spare bedroom if you’d like,” Drew suggests.
Derek steps back, holding his hand toward the hallway as if to silently usher me to said bedroom. The same bedroom we slept in not long ago. Where we touched and kissed. It’s not exactly neutral as far as zones go, but it’s the best we’ve got I suppose.
I hear the latch of the door close behind me and turn. Derek looks just as awkward as I feel.
“So what’s up?” I say, making every attempt to sound like this whole thing is no big deal.
He crosses the room to where I’m standing and sits on the bed directly next to me. So I sit too, careful not to touch him, allowing for several inches of space between us.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“For what?” I ask.
“For everything that’s happened. And for everything that’s about to happen.”
BREAK IT OFF
WILL
For a moment, everything that’s happened up to now flashes before my eyes. In the next, everything I’ve feared will happen takes its turn.
I wait, hoping my silence will urge him to go on. I know my voice will crack if I try to say anything right now.
