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He runs a finger over the knuckles of the opposite hand, looking down, not at me. “And how did that go?” he asks.
“It went well,” I reply, deciding to leave out the farmhouse showdown. “The truth is, James, I really care about her. I care about her more than…”I knew I could, I was going to say, but I don’t want to diminish my and Margot’s relationship in his eyes. We were good at hiding our mutual coldness from him, I hope. “Than I should be able to,” I go on, “considering the timeframe, but then you understand that feeling.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, “because she was my date. She wasmine.”
“No,” I say fiercely. “You went on a date, yes, but she was never yours. She was always mine.”
“She’s less than half your age,” James snaps. “That’s disgusting.”
I grit my teeth, glaring at him. The same fire I felt in the woods returns to me. It’s almost like I can smell gun smoke and feel the hot metal of a gun’s grip in my hand.
“If you think that,” I say, unclenching my jaw, “then fair enough. I can’t change your mind. Maybe the world will agree with you, but my per—but Samantha doesn’t feel that way, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“What aboutme, Dad? Don’t I matter?”
His voice cracks, becoming just like when he was a little kid. It sends a crack right through my heart. Even Loki whines and looks at me like I’m the bad guy. Reaching across the coffee table, I lay my hand on James’. “You matter more than anything. You’re my baby boy. You’re my son. I’d do anything for you.”
He leans back, gently brushing my hand away. When he looks me directly in the eye, I know something bad is coming. It’s in his posture, in the furious shape of his lips. He looks ready to fight.
“Anything?” he says, and I already know where it’s going. Goddamn it. “So if I asked you to leave Samantha, never see her again, talk to her, orthinkabout her… Could you do that, Dad?”
I open my mouth to speak, but there’s nothing I can say. No words will come out. I’m caught between my son and the woman of my dreams. No, notcaught. I trapped myself. I chose this. The second James told me how he felt about her, I should’ve ended things, but I simply can’t.
“James…”
He jumps to his feet and almost runs for the door. Loki yaps in sheer confusion and runs in a small circle, darting at me, then the door, then back at me. James leaves the house, slamming the door behind him, causing the entire structure to tremble.
Loki leaps into my lap, whining and clambering up my chest, trying to lick my face. I turn my cheek to him and let him lick it. It gives me a view of the front driveway. James backs his car out and drives away with a loudscreechnoise, the tires leaving marks on the road.
“What the hell am I going to do, boy?” I murmur.
A moment later, my phone starts to ring. It’s my woman. Even now, after the showdown, I faintly smile as I pick it up. James’ question rings in my mind. If I had to choose, could I really let Samantha go? But could I be content with never seeing my son again? No, never. He’s my boy,dammit.
“Hey,” she says. “There’s something I need to tell you…”
“Is it about James?” I ask.
“Yeah. How did you know?”
“I just spoke to him. He told me about the barbershop quartet, and I told him about us. I had to. I couldn’t lie to him anymore.”
She pauses and then says in a small voice, “I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”
“How did you know that?”
“You, Fletcher. You sound cold. Like you’re getting ready to pull away from me.”
“He asked me who I’d choose. You or him.”
“What did you say?”
“I’m a coward, Samantha. I couldn’t give him an answer, but I know one thing. A man who abandons his son is no man at all.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I wish there was some way I could fix this.”
“It’s not your fault,” I reply. “You’re beautiful, sexy, funny, shy in the best way. It’s notyourfault people can’t help but fall for you.”
“But a son and his dad? That’s not exactly ideal, is it?” After a pause, she laughs, but just like mine, there’s no humor or joy. Just an expulsion of tense air. “I think that was a bit of an understatement.”
