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“Yeah,” I say, with the same kind of laughter. “Just a bit.”
“Do you still want to walk Loki?” she asks. “I’ll understand if—”
“Wearewalking him,” I snarl. “I need to see you. Nothing makes sense unless I’m with you.”
There’s a long pause. I think she might’ve disconnected. When she finally speaks, her voice is full of emotion. It sends another crack down my heart, joining the one put there by the sense of betrayal in my son’s voice.
“Do you mean that?” she asks. “I mean, when you say things like that, they aren’t lines, are they? It’s real? All of it?”
“It’s real,” I snarl. “The realest thing I’ve ever experienced. I…”
I love you. I need you forever. You’re going to give me so many children one day.
I genuinely believe that if it weren’t for the standoff with James, I’d say all of this without a doubt. Nothing would stop me, and I’d mean every word. I can’t keep letting fear hold me back, but Icanlet my son’s agony hold me back. What sort of father would I be if I didn’t?
“I’d never trick you,” I go on. “I swear on Loki, Samantha. I’d die before I did that.”
“Okay,” she whispers. “Good. Thank you.”
“I’ll meet you at your place—”
“No, let’s meet at the park,” she says. “I’m sorry. Mom’s going to be here. I still haven’t told her any of it. As far as she knows, I’m still waiting for… Well, I don’t know what she thinks I’m waiting for. Maybe she thinks I’ll stop caring.”
“It’s not as easy as that, is it?”
“No,” Samantha says, “but nobody else seems to understand.”
She’s right. Nobody does except for me and her. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
Samantha
“Where are you going?” Mom asks when I mention I’ll be heading out soon.
Luckily, one of her favorite quiz shows is on. She doesn’t look at me as she asks the question. Instead, she leans over her knitting, staring at the screen as she waits for the host, who she has a crush on, to reveal the answer.
“Uh, out,” I say, knowing that’s the stupidest thing I could have said, but lying to her feels wrong. It makes me feel like a dirtbag.
Mom claps her hands together when the answer pops up. “I knew it!” Oh, dang. Commercial break. She turns to me, eyes narrowed far too perceptively. “Do you think I was born yesterday, Sam?”
I swallow. Uh oh. “What do you mean?” I ask in my most innocent voice.
“You’re acting very shifty. Something tells me this involves a certain man we discussed recently.”
I feel my cheeks turning red, a surefire way to give myself up with Mom. She’s always been able to read me fairly easily. My blushing cheeks might as well be a warning light going off. “Maybe,” I mutter, knowing there’s no use in lying.
“I see.” Mom nods. “I suppose youdidwait a few days.”
“I know you think I’m being immature, Mom, but it’s much more serious than you think.”He saved my life. “I think we could be a real couple and make it work.”
Mom sighs. I think she’s going to snap at me. Then she walks over to my chair and sits on the arm, wrapping her arm around me. “I can tell how much this means to you. I think I went a little overboard last time, but you must be careful. I don’t want you used and discarded like so many young women are.”
“I won’t let that happen,” I tell her.
“It might not be your choice. The second you give him what he wants—”
“It’s what webothwant,” I snap. “I’m not some defenseless little flower. I’m not some stupid little kid. I don’t think he’s using me. If I had to bet, I’d bet everything I had on him wanting me as badly as I want him, but let’s say you’re right. Let’s say he is—”
