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I shook my head. “Go enjoy your evening with the girls. I’ll come get you when they go to bed.”
With a final brush of her fingers on my arm, she was gone, and I was left to lean against the counter and figure out what the hell I was doing.
CHAPTER 7
Kamari
“What’s everyone’s week looking like?” Lavena kicked off her sandals and folded her legs on the cushion. The firelight shimmered across the glossy manicure, illuminating the crimson polish on her toes. “I was thinking of hitting Titans this Wednesday for their lady’s night.”
“You’re the manager,” Sasha reminded her. “You can literally get in free at any time.”
Lavena rolled her eyes. “Yes, but there are always more men on lady’s night, and we can hunt for a few really nice ones for us to play with.”
“I’m in,” I blurted before my brain could argue me out of it.
I wasn’t surprised by the startled glances I was shot. I was usually the one who had to get talked into one of these adventures by Lavena who would use the excuse that I was too old to be sitting around letting my vagina collect dust. The large majority of the time, none of us actually went home with anyone. We just enjoyed watching the show as people danced and had fun. We’d giggle over cute guys and occasionally have a drink or two with them, but we all wound up just going back to eachother’s apartments to watch movies. I didn’t expect this to be any different, but I had to try.
I had to get my head in the game.
Moving on seemed to be the only way to keep Darius safe. I didn’t even care if I liked the other person or if we stayed together. For all I cared, the ideal person would be someone I could say was my boyfriend, occasionally brought to events and never saw otherwise. At least, that was the best-case scenario. There had to be someone like that out there.
It was a dumb idea. I knew it. But if Darius wasn’t thinking about me then he would have more time thinking of ways to keep himself protected and everything would be fine.
“Seriously?” Kas broke into my thoughts.
I smiled and shrugged. “Why not? It’ll be fun.”
“You want to … hook up with someone?” Lavena hedged cautiously.
My stomach twisted at the thought, but I kept my smile in place. “I don’t know. Maybe just see how the night goes.”
The three exchanged bemused glances but Sasha was the one who broke it with a clap of her hands.
“Hell yeah!”
The other two high fived and cheered along with her, and that seemed to settle it. We agreed to meet at Titans after I finished work that Wednesday.
“I have some things I need to deal with, but I’ll meet you guys there,” Lavena promised.
The Titan was Lavena’s baby. I suspected it had more to do with the illegal gambling den in the back than the actual club, but she seemed to thrive in the weird chaos. I went back there with her once and the level of anxiety that clouded that place had me leaving to wait for her in the club area.
The club itself had a whole other meaning for me. It was the place Darius first looked at me the way I always dreamedhe would. It was the night everything changed between us. That whole experience lived in my memory, drenched in a fog of glitter. I remembered most of it, the important parts, anyway.
He bursting through the crowd, covered in blood to deal with the drunk guy who grabbed me. The rage and violence that rolled off him as he swooped down and hauled the kid up … I lost all the sensation in my limbs.
The way he’d looked me over at the beginning of the night, the raw hunger and lust in his eyes when he caressed my breasts, my legs, my lips, I would have submitted to him right there if he’d asked me to drop to my knees.
The whole night was him fucking me with his eyes without ever laying a hand on me and I was driven mad with how much I needed him. I could barely think. My core throbbed as if it had grown its own heartbeat and all I wanted was for him to just do what his gaze kept promising.
Going to his office was my last attempt to get him alone, thinking maybe he didn’t want to do anything in front of his sister and the others. And God, the way he undressed me on those stairs haunted my dreams for weeks. When he turned me away, getting stupid drunk to forget it all was the only solution. I didn’t even care. I just needed to numb one of the two pangs claiming my body and soul. The rest was a blur. I remembered nothing else until waking up the next morning feeling like death in Sasha’s bed.
I wanted to think it was better that way, but who was I kidding? Waking up with Darius would have been much better. But that night changed something between us. There were moments of pure, brutal tension that ripped between us with just a glance. I could feel him undressing me from across a crowded room. His eyes were more focused on mine whenever we talked, as if every word I spoke was priceless. He’d find reasons to brush against me, little skims of his fingers alongmy spine in passing, grazing my arm to guide me, brushing his fingers over mine when I passed him something.
If it wasn’t for the unfiltered, unrestricted, animalistic glint in his eyes, I would have chalked it all up as my overactive imagination, but he was not being subtle about wanting me and I wasn’t stupid, but he seemed to be waiting for something and short of ripping my clothes off and throwing myself at him, I didn’t know what that was.
“Kami,” I was jolted out of my thoughts by Kas slapping my thigh. The sting made me flinch and hit her back.
“Ow!”
