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EPILOGUE—JESTER
Inever apologize forwho I am. Not even when marriage and fatherhood make me soft. I feel weird sometimes when I’m crawling around on the ground with Killian or picking up flowers for Talon.
Like what happened to the asshole I used to be? The guy who scared people just by standing too quickly? The jackass who attracted women with his looks and repulsed them with his personality?
I was once a beast. Now, I’m a fucking chump who’s absolutely goofy in love with a woman who’ll challenge grown men to wrestling matches yet squeal at the sight of a grasshopper in the house.
I’m also a fool for my son’s laughter. Killian looks so much like Richelle and me when we were little. I keep expecting him to have all the same issues we did, but he’s the happiest fucking person I’ve ever met. He and Reece are the goofiest kids. I’ll find them sometimes sitting across from each other, making weird faces until one of them cracks up. They don’t even need toys to entertain themselves.
When I was little, I was never as happy as my boy gets, but Killian doesn’t have terrible parents. That’s the important thing. Killian acts more like I remember Talon being as a kid. She was never so silly, but she smiled a lot and ran around like the world wasn’t fucked up at all.
Now, my son has the same carefree energy, and I can’t take my eyes off him most days.
So, yeah, I’ve gone soft.
Being open to love is good and all, but it also brings up a whole lot of pain I figured was long gone. My regrets are the worst. I miss Lando so much I feel like someone’s gutting me. But missing my son also makes him feel closer, like he wasn’t only a figment of my imagination but a real person who mattered.
I find myself missing Richelle sometimes. That feeling mostly hits when I’m over at Papa Bear’s house with all his kids around. I see how Talon is with her brothers and Katana. I never once shared such a bond with my sister. The guy I am now would have tried. Maybe we would have still hated and resented each other, but I’d have fewer regrets.
Long ago, I decided if no one was going to love me, I might as well love myself, warts and fucking all. These days, I do have people who love me. Talon still looks at me like I’m a sex god. She occasionally gets spooked about the past. There are days when I feel her struggling with bad memories. But usually, she’s her smartass self, smiling and roughhousing like nothing’s ever gone wrong in her life.
Killian thinks I’m great. We’re inseparable as soon as I can hold him. I take him with me everywhere around the Sanctuary. I occasionally feel weird when I see the other founders with their grandkids while I’m schlepping around a diaper bag. But I’ve always been behind them on things, and they never razz me. I think they understand how I finally got lucky.
Papa Bear still keeps me steady when I want to fuck up. Early on, he wasn’t sure I was up to doing right by his daughter. I never blamed him for worrying. When I used to stress having a girl, I’d get real pissed at her future hypothetical suitors, so I understand where he was coming from.
I don’t envy Overlord’s future with all his daughters. I suspect a few of his girls will be ballbusters like their aunt. He’ll have the double worry as their father and President.
Overlord and I get over our tension. He always rubbed me wrong, and I usually seemed like a fucking beast to him. But we’re good once we focus on how much we care about the Sanctuary and the people within its walls.
No matter how much time passes, I remain crazy about Talon. No one’s ever loved me like she does. Talon made me a better man. She’s a great friend and a surprisingly wild lover. When I’m an asshole, she calls out my behavior. When she’s an asshole, she expects me to call out her behavior.
The Sanctuary doesn’t change despite all the new people coming through or our kids growing up. The place feels unbreakable. In a dozen years, my boy will likely ride these roads with his friends. There’ll eventually be a new President and leadership. Men like me will stand back and remember the good old days. All while the Sanctuary keeps on welcoming castoffs and offering second chances.
Like her parents who built this place, Talon Marsden offered me more than I dreamed or even deserved. No matter what awaits my family or the Born Villains Motorcycle Club, I’ll never forget how a fucked-up kid like me grew into a man capable of winning the heart of a girl like her.
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THE END
