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“I’m sorry, that was my fault. I opened your email on his computer—”
He waves that away. “The email was a stupid risk. I was trying to find you in person, but you disappeared, and I heard the rumors about you getting snatched by Erick, and I got desperate.”
“I guess the rumors were true. Erick really did pick me up.”
“So it seems.” He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment as if gathering himself before looking at me again. “Are you okay?”
I laugh, trying to figure out how to answer that. I was drugged and kidnapped and forced to paint, but I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been, or at least I was before Erick and I got into that ugly fight when I tried to escape. Now I’m mostly confused and tired, running on no sleep, basically dangling over a chasm.
“It’s complicated,” I eventually say. “But I’m physically fine.”
“Good. That’s good.” He leans back and looks tired. “I have a lot to tell you.”
“Why did you need to meet? Why the hell are you still in Vegas? You should be long gone by now. Everyone assumed you were on some tiny island somewhere hiding out.”
“I never left. Running was an option, but it never came to that. The plan went so fucking wrong.”
“What plan? Dad, what were you thinking, why would you steal from the casinos? You know what they’re going to do to you.”
He nods slowly, still smiling, but it’s sad now and an ugly dread fills my guts. “Listen, hon. I’ve known for a while, and I guess I should’ve told you, but you’ve always been sensitive. I didn’t want you to suffer along with me, you know?”
A horrible, ugly pit opens under my body. I feel like I’m spiraling down into the dark.
“What are you talking about? You know what?”
“Heloise, I’ve got cancer, and it’s the bad kind that doesn’t go away.”
I don’t know what to say. His words pound in my ears. I’m trying to make sense of it as I stare at him in total shock, but suddenly his appearance makes sense.
He looks sick.
It’s the worst I’ve ever seen him, and I’ve seen my father in some bad states over the years. Drunk, strung out, scared for his life.
But this trumps it all.
“Daddy.” I walk over and sit next to him. He puts an arm over my shoulders as I try not to cry. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know, I would’ve helped or done something.”
“It’s alright, Heloise, it’s okay. I made peace with it a while ago. We all gotta die sometime, right? This is my time.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “What kind is it? Is there anything we can do?”
“Started in my lungs, but now it’s all over. And no, trust me, I tried. Doctors say I’ve got a few months left at best, but the way I’ve been feeling lately, I think they’re a little optimistic.”
A sob breaks out from my chest. I can’t hold it back anymore. The sick irony kills me. I get my father back, only to find out that I’m going to lose him for good.
He holds me while I cry. I wish I could be stronger for him, but it’s my dad. He has always loomed large, a massive presence in my memory, immortal and incredible, and he still has that magnetic weight about him even looking like he’s half the size he used to be. But his smell is the same, his hands are the same, he’s still my father, and he’s here right now. Eventually, I get myself under control.
“What I don’t get is why you’re doing all this,” I say after a while of just sitting with each other. “If you’re so sick, why wouldn’t you spend your last time with me instead of pulling off another job? You don’t need the money, right?”
His grin is bitter as he rubs my shoulder. “Here’s the thing. That last job, that money, I had this grand idea for what I’d do with it, but I got fucked.”
“Fucked how?”
“I don’t have a dime, Heloise.”
I laugh but he’s not kidding and my grin fades away. “Seriously?”
“I had a partner.” He grimaces as if something hurts. “I hate working with partners. Still hate it. But I needed one for this job, because I was too sick to pull it off alone.” He pauses to catch his breath and I’m caught between hating him for doing something so stupid and loving him so fiercely it breaks my ribs. “He took everything. Screwed me hard and left. He knew I couldn’t do anything to stop him, not in this state, and he didn’t give a damn. Rob an old cancer patient? That’s just another Tuesday for a guy dumb enough to go up against the casinos.”
