AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Caleb told me they were trying to have a baby, he never mentioned they lost one. I am assuming they lost one, because there are no more sonograms after this one, and he never mentioned he had a child. Realizing this is not right for me to snoop, I put the items back in the box, place the lid on top and slide the box back into its original spot. I look around the attic once more, using my phone to illuminate the darkness, I spot three boxes that say Christmas.
“Jackpot.”
I haul three boxes, one by one, to the living room before closing up the attic. I spend the next two hours, cleaning the decorations and finding a place for them throughout the house. Once I finish, I am starving. I open the refrigerator but notice there is barely any food. I head over to the market to get some food for dinner.
“Julia.”
I turn around to find Dia waving at me as she hustles down the aisle. She looks breathtaking, her short black hair, fair skin, red lips, and round shaped glasses against the brim of her nose. She is the sexy nerd type, and it works for her.
“Dia.”
I give her a big hug. She definitely found a Bath & Body Works, as she smells like a delicious sugar cookie. I make a mental note to hit up the holiday sales soon.
“I wanted to let you know that the holidays have always been a sentimental time for Caleb, I will bring my homemade apple pie to the party. It was Lucy’s favorite, always cheers him up.”
She smiles as she reaches for the apples she will need. I set the apple that was in my hand down before looking at Dia. I bite my lip.
“Do you think he is capable of really being in a relationship? Or will whoever he is with always be in the shadow of Lucy?”
I can’t get this question out of my head, no matter how many people I ask and even though he already answered it, it's still lingering in the back of my mind. Self-doubt is seeping into my mind and my confidence is going out the window.
I never saw photos of Lucy, or Lucy and Caleb, before and I can’t help but think, I don’t want to get half a man because someone already had all of him and broke him. I want all of him, but who am I to talk? He probably feels the exact same way I do, the only difference is my ex tried to kill me, whereas Lucy only took her own life, but ruined Caleb in the process.
“Julia, I didn’t mean to make you feel any type of way.”
I can tell she is nervous as she looks side to side to ensure no one else can hear our conversation.
“No. You didn’t.”I did that to myself.
“To answer your question. Yes. He is capable. Sometimes men just need a good reason. You’re that reason.” She smiles as she places her hand on my arm and gives me a rub. Her eyes relay sincerity and warmth. I can’t help the tears that build up and I try to hide them by giving her a quick hug.
“Thanks.”
She pulls back looking into my eyes before she mutters, “Are you okay hun?”
The question everyone has been asking me. Am I okay? I don’t even know how to answer that question, other than my standard response.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just the holidays get me emotional. My grandma loved holidays.” I lie. I know something is brewing inside me, I just don’t know what. My grandma did love the holidays though, and I do miss her dearly, so that part is true.
“She sure did. We will have fun. You go home and get some rest, okay?”
I nod as I grab ahold of my cart and continue on down the aisle.
Ising on the top of my lungs as I wash the dishes in the sink. Its dark outside and the house is warm from the fire. Caleb should be home soon, so I prepare his dinner. I made chicken parm with angel hair pasta, Caesar salad and garlic bread. I grab a wine bottle from the fridge and set it on the dining room table. Reaching in the drawer I grab a lighter and flick the igniter, the flame burns the candle wick as I set the candle in the middle of the table.
I place two wine glasses on each end of the table and then set the plates.
I harmonize with Little Mix, as I belt out high notes, envisioning being on stage with them.
I hold out my arms as I close my eyes and serenade the empty living room as I twirl.
“I don’t know Julia. Why can’t it be like that?”
I tumble over my feet as my heart pounds against my chest.
“Jesus Caleb, you scared the shit out of me.”
He smiles as he rounds the couch to stand in front of me. He leans down and kisses my lips before he removes his coat and drapes it over the couch.
