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Chapter Fifteen
Rory
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It’s been six dayssince Archer showed up at my dorm. Six days since he proclaimed his love for me, which I still can’t wrap my head fully around, let alone believe. And while I thought I had made my position known on the matter, he clearly didn’t listen very well because leaving me alone is the exact opposite of what he’s done.
He’s shown up outside of my classes. Been sitting on the front steps of my building when I get home. Has even followed me from class to class when I’ve refused to speak to him. He’s everywhere all the time and truth be told, it’s getting really hard to hold up this charade.
Did he hurt me? More like ripped my heart out and stomped on it.
Do I think he’s sorry? Weirdly, yes. Especially given the spectacle he’s been making by following me around like a little lost puppy in need of a home.
Can I forgive him? I don’t know.
If he’s telling the truth and his actions were solely driven by panic, how long until he pulls a stunt like that again? How long until he breaks my heart a second time?
I don’t think I would ever be able to let my guard down. I know myself too well. I know that I would constantly be holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and despite my feelings for him, that’s no way for anyone to live.
So no matter how badly I want to give in. No matter how much it hurts to hold my ground, I know it’s something I have to do.
“You have to come!” Alina pulls me back into the conversation that I almost forgot we were even having. “It’s a huge game. Everyone who’s anyone is going to be there.” She stares at me from across the table where there’s a tray of untouched food sitting in front of me.
My appetite has been nonexistent since everything that happened with Archer. In fact, many things in my life have suffered since then. My sleep. My focus. My schoolwork. I feel like a fish floundering around on dry land, desperately trying to find my way back to a body of water that no longer exists.
“I am not going to watchhimplay. Jesus, Alina. It’s hard enough for me to see him everywhere I turn. Now you want me to voluntarily go somewhere that I know he’ll be.”
“Even more reason. Shows him you’re over it. That you’re the bigger person and you’re moving on.”
“Does this look like moving on to you?” I gesture to myself, not sure I look quite as bad as I feel. Which has been on purpose. If I mope around in sweats without covering the dark rings under my eyes with makeup, he’ll know I’m not over him. And that’s the opposite of what I want.
At least, that’s what I tell myself anyway.
“Or you could go and tell him you’ve finally decided to forgive him.”
“But you know I can’t do that.”
