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“You’ll have both,” he assures me.
“You don’t care that my father is your enemy?”
His fingers stop, and I curse myself for asking that question. “I care, Skye. I do. Your father has caused a lot of heartbreak, but you’re not him. You can’t be judged for his shit just because you share DNA.”
I’m not sure if we’re still talking about me and my dad. It feels like there’s a hidden meaning behind his words, but I don’t think it’s a good time to push that—not when he’s being sweet with me.
“I never wanted any part of his world,” I say. Feeling a little bold, I reach out and press the pads of my fingertips against his hand on my leg. “Rage? Promise me something?”
“What?”
“That if something happens to me, you’ll take care of our child. Don’t let my father get her or let her go into the foster care system. She didn’t ask to be born. She deserves someone to love her.”
His throat bobs as he swallows, as if there is a giant lump blocking his airway. “Ain’t gonna let anything happen to her or to you.” I want to believe that, I really do, but there’s an uneasy, ugly feeling that I can’t shake. “Why don’t you try to sleep again? The doc said you need to rest.”
“I don’t think I can.”
He hesitates for a moment before muttering “Fuck it” under his breath. I watch as he undoes his laces and toes off his boots before he rounds the bed. I don’t know what he’s doing, but I don’t react as he lies next to me. “I’ll stay with you while you sleep,” he says.
“Don’t you have things to do?”
“Nothin’ that can’t wait. Try to rest, Skye.”
I snuggle against my pillow, closing my eyes and trying to empty my mind enough to release my body, but I’m so aware of him next to me, it’s impossible.
I shift positions, lying on my side with my back to him, hoping that will help, but it doesn’t. I’m acutely aware of his presence behind me.
“Sleep,” he orders again, as if it’s that easy for me to just switch off and let go.
“I can’t.” I turn onto my back, opening my eyes. “My mind is going a hundred miles a minute.”
“I get that,” he says. “Mine is too. Didn’t expect to start this day out learning I’m gonna be a dad.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” I agree. “I’ve had weeks to deal with it and I still can’t believe it.”
My hand, as it always seems to, gravitates to my stomach, but this time, Rage’s joins mine, sliding over the top. I move so that his palm is pressed directly to my belly, and it feels as if the room holds its breath.
“I know this isn’t exactly how either of us planned this,” I say, “but I’m not sorry it happened either.”
I don’t expect him to say anything back, and he doesn’t, which makes me wonder where his head is at. I get some indication when he splays his fingers wide over my stomach. “Does it feel weird?”
“The baby?”
“Yeah. I mean… it’s just… in there.”
I laugh a little. “I don’t feel anything—yet. Just sick and tired. My boobs hurt too, but that’s probably far too much information.”
His eyes drop to my chest, his tongue dipping out to wet his lips. “They’re bigger than the last time we were together.”
I peer down at them. They are bigger, though not by much. I’m surprised he noticed considering he’d fucked me from behind.
“That’s what you noticed?”
“Babe, I’m always gonna notice tits.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course, you are. I don’t really know what to expect over the next few months.”
He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out his phone. I watch as he pulls up a browser and types in ‘what to expect in early pregnancy’. I don’t know why but him doing that makes tears prick my eyes. I don’t want to cry in front of him, but my body wants to release all the pressure inside me that has been building over the last few weeks.
