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“Tender and swollen tits, nausea and vomiting, increased urination, fatigue, food cravings, heartburn, and constipation.” He frowns. “You got all that going on?”
“Some of it,” I admit. “You had a front row seat to the vomiting.”
He keeps reading, flicking between other sites. “I think it’ll get worse before it gets better.”
“That’s comforting,” I mutter.
He tosses his phone on the bedside table. “You don’t want to do this, Skye, I ain’t gonna make you. There’s still time and options.”
Bile burns through my chest. I know he’s trying to be kind, to give me back those choices that were stripped from me when I was held prisoner, but I hate it.
“I’m not having an abortion. If you don’t want to be involved, that’s fine. I respect that. But this baby is all I have, Rage. I can’t just get rid of her.”
“Ain’t sayin’ I don’t want to be involved.” He sits up, twisting his body to look at me. “This shit ain’t gonna be a fairy tale, though. You’re a Richardson, and a lot of the brothers here have been affected directly by your dad. That ain’t gonna be easy for them to get past.”
The pit in my stomach is uncomfortable. “I know, and they should feel that way. What you said my father did is just…” I break off, my words shattering.
Rage reaches out, swiping at my cheek and capturing a tear I didn’t know had fallen. “You’re not him.”
“I’m not,” I agree, “but that doesn’t change how people are going to feel about me. He killed a pregnant woman and a child. I don’t know how to deal with that.”
“None of us do either. I didn’t know Jade, but I met Mara a few times. She was a good woman. She was a doctor, and she was excited about becoming a mum. Her and Trick both.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Ain’t for you to apologise for, Skye. Unless you pulled that trigger, this ain’t your doing.”
“The little girl… does she have a good life? A happy one?”
Torturing myself like this is pointless, but I can’t stop from wondering.
“She’s taken care of. The club looks after its own.”
“If something happens to me, will the club take care of our baby too?”
“Ain’t nothin’ happening to you, Skye.”
“You don’t know that,” I say. “This life we’re in isn’t rainbows and hearts. It’s dangerous, and people die all the time.”
His brows come together as he stares at me. “You ain’t dying.”
“But if I do—”
“No,” he snaps, losing his temper. “Ain’t happenin’. You’re gonna raise this kid with me, Skye, ‘cause I ain’t ready to be a single fucking parent. I don’t know the first thing about raising a kid. I don’t even know if I can.”
“Of course, you can.”
He shakes his head. “My life ain’t lent itself to being that kinda role model.”
“No one expects you to be the perfect father, especially not me. The fact you’re here and wanting to step into that position is enough.”
“Is it?” He shakes his head. “Our lives are fucked-up. I mean, I’m in deep with the club, and you’re being held here against your will.”
“I’m here because I want to be,” I counter.
“We locked you up.”
“I know, and I’m hoping I can earn enough trust to be free eventually, but I understand why every single person in this club doesn’t trust me, Rage.”
