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“Prove you’re worthy of that loyalty, and you’ll get it back.” He blows out a breath. “And I’ll give you that promise. Anything happens to either of us our kid will be looked after, Skye. Howler and the others will make sure she’s raised with love.”
That knot in my belly unfurls. His words give me hope and comfort. “Thank you,” I say, genuinely meaning it.
“But nothin’ is gonna happen to you.”
I smile because I don’t want to fight with him, not when we’re having this moment—whatever it is. Instead, I press my hand against his on my stomach, joining the three of us together.
He doesn’t recoil or pull away, though I expect it.
Instead, his hand flexes beneath mine. “It’s fuckin’ weird.”
“What is?” I yawn, my eyes starting to feel gritty and tired.
“Knowing there’s a baby beneath our hands.”
It’s not what I’m expecting him to say, and my lips twitch. “Does it freak you out?”
“A little. Does it you?”
My eyes close, exhaustion making it hard to stay awake, but I need to answer this question. “No. It makes me feel… not so lonely. No matter what happens, I have her with me. There were times when I was locked away in my room where I wanted to give up, but knowing our daughter was inside me, relying on me, gave me the strength to keep fighting.”
“Or son.”
“Or son,” I agree as my hand tightens around his, my body relaxing into sleep. “I don’t think I can stay awake.”
“Then don’t. Rest.”
It’s all I need to hear to let myself go.
I don’t know how long I sleep for or how deeply, but when I wake, I’m disorientated. Light is battling to come through the thick curtains hanging over the window, and the light at the side of the bed is turned off.
I reach for Rage, but all I hit is cold sheets and empty air. Sitting up, I turn to where I left him when I closed my eyes and see nothing. The disappointment is unwarranted. We’re having a baby together, but that doesn’t mean we’re a couple, and I shouldn’t have any expectations of Rage. He’s already done more than I have any right to expect.
So, why do I find myself so disappointed to wake up alone in this bed?
CHAPTER6
RAGE
It’s a shitty thing to do, but for the next week, I avoid Skye. Watching her sleep next to me fuckin’ terrified me. Everything felt too quick, too certain.
I gave her promises I ain’t even sure I can keep. How the fuck could I tell her that I’ll raise this kid if something happens to her?
I’m not father material.
She shouldn’t trust me with a kid—even if it is half mine. My father’s voice echoes through my mind on a loop. He told me all those years ago how useless I was, and he was right. I am a waste of fucking space. I can’t be a dad. I can’t even be useful to my fucking club. All I’ve done is bring problems.
She and I had a moment in that room, a sense of growing closer because of our shared interest in this baby, and I realised in that moment I needed to step back and put some distance there.
So, I’ve thrown myself into club business. I know Skye’s being looked after, I’ve made sure of that, but I can’t be around her. I can’t risk getting close to her and wanting things I can’t have.
“You okay, kid?” Hawk’s voice drags me from my thoughts.
He’s been the hardest of all my club brothers to face. I don’t owe anyone here shit, but Hawk has been good to me, and I hate the thought that I might have disappointed him.
“I’m good,” I lie. It comes easily to me, the ability to hide my true feelings from others. I’ve done it for so long, it barely registers that I’m doing it anymore.
“I doubt that,” he snorts. “I sure as fuck wouldn’t be good with any of this shit happening if it was me.”
